The Passion of the Frost

Move while you still see me / You’ll be lost, you’ll be so sorry, when I’m gone.
Jesus Christ, Superstar

So he said, “Let’s run and we’ll have some fun / now before I melt away.”
Frosty, Snowman

Last time, I drew a parallel between Santa and God. Now for an even more shocking truth: Frosty the Snowman and Jesus the Christ are the same guy.

Jesus was born improbably (via virgin) at Christmastime, loved everyone unconditionally, then saved humanity by sacrificing himself on the cross as Mary wept. He was resurrected and joined God in Heaven.

Frosty was born improbably (via magic hat) at Christmastime, loved everyone unconditionally, then saved a little girl by sacrificing himself in a greenhouse. Karen wept over the puddle he had become, then he was resurrected and flew to the “North Pole” with (ahem) “Santa.”

To seal the deal, they both promise a Second Coming:

Do not let your hearts be troubled…I will come back.
Jesus (John 14:1-3)

Don’t you cry, I’ll be back again someday.
Frosty 

In the end, Frosty wins the matchup — he actually came back.

Images © 1969 Rankin-Bass; fair use under criticism/commentary and parody

DALE McGOWAN is the author of books including Atheism for Dummies and Raising Freethinkers. He lives in Atlanta.