This is the Most Missed Diagnosis & It Could be Destroying Your Marriage

This is the Most Missed Diagnosis & It Could be Destroying Your Marriage January 6, 2019

depression-weight-gain-hair-loss-exhaustionAre you fatigued and depressed? Are you gaining weight but losing your hair?

Is your marriage in shambles because in addition to everything else, your sex drive is missing in action?

You could be suffering from hypothyroidism.

Hypothyroidism affects millions of people worldwide, mostly women. Yet it’s one of the most unrecognized and misdiagnosed illnesses in the world.

It can make you think you’re losing your mind.

You’re grumpy and overwhelmed by simple tasks.

I wasn’t suicidal, but death didn’t sound bad. I was tired and had gained 40 pounds  in a year. 

Something was wrong.

I asked my doc for a copy of my bloodwork. Then I asked for a referral.

He gave me attitude.

“Doctors are human, too,” he said, avoiding eye contact. He scratched out a script for the sixth antidepressant in four years. He had no problem prescribing antidepressants. But a referral? Out of the question.

I insisted.

“When a doctor sees you’re on antidepressants,” he lectured,  “he’s not going to take you seriously. I mean, you’re on an antidepressant. We’re human.” He handed me the script and the referral and walked out of the room.

For years, I’d complained of:

  • depression
  • dry, brittle nails and heels
  • hair loss
  • weight gain
  • insomnia
  • achy joints
  • fatigue

His explanation for the fatigue? Children.

His explanation for the weight gain? Age.

He handed me script after script for sleeping pills and anti-depressants.

If I hadn’t demanded a referral, I might’ve been dead, divorced or both by 50.

I was that miserable. My marriage  was slowly deteriorating, along with everything else in my life.

My doc, like so many others, didn’t connect the dots and realize I’d been complaining of common hypothyroidism symptoms. My bloodwork “said” my hormone levels were “within normal range,” so my doctor said my thyroid was okay.

Everyone has a hormone level that’s ideal for them. Just because I was “within normal range” didn’t mean everything was normal.

My doc been treating my lab resultsnot me for years and didn’t want to give me a referral . . .  until I pushed back.

The thyroid is a butterfly-shaped gland that sits below your Adam’s apple, about 8 inches below your nose. According to the American Thyroid Association, when your thyroid hormone levels are too low, you can suffer from symptoms that wreak havoc on your life.

You gain weight. You’re exhausted. You’re depressed. You think you’re cray-cray, usually because your doctor can’t find anything wrong with you.

I took the referral, saw an endocrinologist, and realized my doctor was right. The endocrinologist didn’t take me seriously … after I told him I was taking antidepressants.

Even though I had family history and symptoms, after I said the “a” word, he switched gears.

He said my numbers were normal and my symptoms could be attributed to lots of stuff.

I was a walking poster child for hypothyroidism.

But he wouldn’t cave. “No self-respecting endocrinologist in the world would prescribe thyroid hormone with your numbers,” he said.

He shamed me into going away. I did. My life continued to crumble: my marriage, parenting, relationships. I felt like a failure.

Maybe I was little wacky because I went back to my same primary care doc a few months later complaining of the same symptoms.

He was ready for me. Armed with the endocrinologist’s report, he handed me a referral for a psychiatrist who could prescribe an anti-psychotic.

I walked out of the office near tears, doubting myself and feeling defeated.

Thank God my hair was falling out.

Eventually I found a new doc, who noticed the short broken-off strands of hair, which were sprinkled all over the exam table, my shoulders and my back.

She sent me to a different endocrinologist, who after looking at my lab results, reluctantly (because of my numbers) agreed to try a three-month trial of thyroid hormone.

By the time the trial was over, my thyroid numbers had inched up into the middle of the range, and I had gotten my groove back. All of it.

I had a treatable condition, which took five years to diagnose because my doctor refused to look outside of the scope of common practices.

Your physical health is tied to the health of your marriage.

I trusted my doctor. It never occurred to me he might not be fully versed in hypothyroidism, its symptoms and causes.

Don’t get me wrong. I have huge respect for the medical profession. But this has taught me I’ve got to question my doc, get a second opinion and refuse to give up if I believe I’ve got a legitimate health issue.

Doctors are fallible.

After all, they’re human, too.

Need skills to build intimacy?

  1. Get on the waitlist for my next group coaching session–Change Your Mind; Change Your Marriage.
  2. Visit my website,  like my Facebook page and  join my private Facebook group.
  3. Check out my FREE resources and download  How to Be A Wife No Man Will Ever Want to Leave.
  4. Apply for private coaching with Sheila.

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Also known as the Not So Excellent Wife, Sheila Qualls understands how tiring a tough marriage can be. 

She went from the brink of divorce to having a thriving marriage by translating timeless truths into practical skills. She’s helped women just like you turn their men into the husbands they want.

After 33 years of marriage, she’s a  coach  and a speaker whose passion is to equip women to break relationship-stifling habits and do marriage God’s way. And you don’t have to be a doormat to do it.

She and her husband Kendall live in Minnesota with their five children and their Black Lab, Largo.

In addition to coaching, Sheila is a member of the MOPS Speaker Network.  Her work has been featured on the MOPS Blog, The Upper Room, Grown and Flown, Scary Mommy, Beliefnet, Candidly Christian,, The Mighty and on various other sites on the Internet.

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