Does respect come naturally to you? I’m not going to lie. It doesn’t for me.
I’m married to a great man, but I’ve struggled with respect. Partly because I didn’t know I could disrespect him in so many ways.
Growing up, I wasn’t taught to respect my husband, why he needed it or how I was supposed to give it.
The idea of showing respect to your husband seemed outdated when I got married. Women aren’t taught to respect men. Men are usually portrayed as dweebs who need direction more than respect.
You’ll rarely hear your husband say he feels disrespected.
But it’s his most important need.
A steady diet of disrespect can make your husband feel emotionally malnourished, leaving you feeling unloved.
I know this from experience. I didn’t think of my constant reminders as nagging. I didn’t think of my “help” as criticism. I thought respect was something he needed to earn from me.
You might not realize you’re disrespecting your husband either.
Maybe you didn’t have strong role models. Maybe on one ever taught you what’s important in a marriage.
Maybe you had great parents but never really understood the concept or importance of respect.
Maybe you want to respect your husband but don’t want to become a doormat.
Respecting your husband doesn’t make you a doormat. It makes you a woman who treats her husband well. He’ll treat you incredibly well in return.
Learning how to respect your husband starts with learning what he may consider disrespectful.
How do you know you’ve got a problem with respect in your marriage?
If you’re like me you’re thinking, “I’m kind. I’m helpful.” But you’ve still got a grumpy husband who tries to avoid you.
His actions give you a hint as to what he’s feeling.
You can learn how to show respect to your man. Learning to respect starts with learning what he considers disrespectful.
Here are seven ways you may be communicating disrespect without even knowing it.
7 Actions That Communicate Disrespect
Every man is different. Here are a few ways that almost always communicate disrespect:
- Criticize him–verbally (with your words) or nonverbally (rolling your eyes when he speaks)
- Undermine his decisions
- Fail to acknowledge him when he you see him
- Mother him
- Point out how stupid he is by challenging his decisions
- Constantly criticize him in front of others
- Acknowledge his faults without acknowledging his positive attributes
He may be feeling disrespected.
What do your words and actions communicate to your husband? Are you disrespecting him without realizing it?
Respect is his number one need. He may not say you’re disrespectful, but he feels it. Take note of ways you may be disrespecting him and make changes.
The more you respect him the better he’ll love you.
Need skills to build intimacy?
- Get on the waitlist for my next group coaching session–Change Your Mind; Change Your Marriage.
- Visit my website, like my Facebook page and join my private Facebook group.
- Check out my FREE resources and download “How to Be A Wife No Man Will Ever Want to Leave” Challenge!
- Apply for private coaching with Sheila.
Also known as the Not So Excellent Wife, Sheila Qualls understands how tiring a tough marriage can be.
She went from the brink of divorce to having a thriving marriage by translating timeless truths into practical skills. She’s helped women just like you turn their men into the husbands they want.
In addition to more than 33 years of marriage, Sheila has a Masters Degree in Communication and countless hours of mentoring and coaching women.
She and her husband Kendall live in Minnesota with their five children and their Black Lab, Largo.
In addition to coaching, Sheila is a member of the MOPS Speaker Network. Her work has been featured on the MOPS Blog, The Upper Room, Grown and Flown, Scary Mommy, Beliefnet, Candidly Christian, Crosswalk.com, The Mighty and on various other sites on the Internet.