Unfinished Business: A Lesson on Time Mis-Management

The other day I asked a friend for prayer. The exact words I used were “for God to enlarge my time.”

I know that is not really a fair request, expecting that God might bend space and time just for my own sense of personal productivity. But the many obligations and opportunities have been weighing on me.

Maybe what I was really asking was for some help in getting done all the things that are before me right now that, at the moment, are looking quite impossible.

It’s not that they’re all deadline-driven, although that is some of it. There is the stuff that goes along with my job, of course, which keeps growing and getting more challenging. But there is also a long list of other things that I want to do, because they are good opportunities: more writing, blogging and speaking on this subject of integrating work and spiritual life, for instance. And then there is my family – investing time into my marriage to keep it fresh and strong; and being a good father to my two teen-age daughters who need a strong model of good character now more than ever.

Instead of relishing a sense of accomplishment in all these things, lately I feel like I should be fully qualified to teach a course on Time Mismanagement. There are so many things on my to-do list that haven’t been crossed off, looming large but remaining in a suspended state of existence – a productivity purgatory – as they cast their ominous shadows over my daily schedule. It’s become so unmanageable that I am prone to just crumpling up that list after a while and throwing it away to start over again. That won’t make those tasks go away, but it might feel like a fresh start.

I am having trouble getting to it all. It would be so nice to feel caught up, just for a little while.

I know all about the practical advice:

Delegate!

Clean off your desk!

Prioritze!

Make an instant decision on every piece of information that comes before you!

Simplify!

But the tangled knot of my life can not be torn out like a page from a magazine.

If I start thinking about it too much, the weight of all that is unresolved, unfinished, and left undone feels as if it might just about chase me down and crush me at times.

Maybe I expect too much?

I must accept the fact that there are simply going to be many loose ends. And even more, I must trust in an infinite, loving God who knows the path before me, and who will provide grace enough to see me through.

So, for now, I will rest in that.  

Photo by nAncY. Used with permission. (Thanks, Nancy!)