February 9, 2020

  By guest writer Milo Meldrum 1. Conquest I want to control everything: the way I am hurt and the way I am healed, to make a conquest of my own body by brute forcing nature with less grace than an animal. I am three years old, slipping in the bath and splitting my chin where the bone is closest to skin. The memory that sticks is having my chin sewn up, a doll who had misbehaved and split a… Read more

January 5, 2020

I remember a sunshiny morning in 1987. I remember sitting in Sunbeam on the floor of my parents’ bedroom, next to their enormous bookcase. Books by Edith Stein and Catherine of Sienna and Theresa of Avila were on my left.  I had pulled out the small stack of children’s books from the bottom shelf. I was leafing through a picture book I had received for my first communion, and dismissed as “boring” because its pictures were mostly black and white. I have… Read more

December 24, 2019

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October 31, 2019

  In the town where I grew up, the first day of doe hunting season was a school holiday. My grandfather wasn’t a hunter, but sure enough, every winter as the deer were shot, slaughtered, and processed, packages of venison would arrive from friends with too much meat for their freezers. The first time I ate deer, I loved it without knowing what it was. Of course, I didn’t know the loveable creature that we left stale bread in the… Read more

October 22, 2019

  Yesterday, as the Amazonian Synod in Rome comes to an end, it was reported that a statue that symbolized the Synod (Our Lady of the Amazon) was stolen and thrown into the Tiber River. Some celebrated (which was gross). Some were dismayed and cried “racism” and “iconoclasm” (which was correct). Henry Karlson had a particularly nice discussion of iconoclasm over at his blog this morning.  The Amazonian Synod was controversial before it even began. It was known that the… Read more

October 1, 2019

Cool evening air whispered through the windows of my studio apartment where I lay one late Spring evening, hinting to me that life was still being lived outside. My arms and legs were cement. I hadn’t moved on the bed since beginning to play Sharon Van Etten’s album “Because I was in Love,” thirty minutes before.    My phone buzzed beside me. My friend was calling to check in.    “How’re ya doin’?” she said.    “My body just feels… Read more

September 27, 2019

I began my summer.    I started running in the mornings with a good friend. I sprinted out the pain. I tried out different meet-up groups, I needed new friends. I would not let the betrayal destroy me.    Then one sunny day I went to a picnic on the lake near my apartment. Sitting in a group of people I’d never met before, I mentioned a city abroad where I had lived. The ears of a tall handsome man… Read more

September 27, 2019

  In March, we took a few weeks off from being in communication. He said he needed time to sort things out. The plan was to be together in June. He would begin his leave of absence then.    I gave up alcohol for lent that year. My emotions were so raw I knew I needed every possible brain cell to get through it. That Spring I began to understand what all of those crazed love songs were about. All… Read more

September 12, 2019

First Things has published an attempted takedown of the late Toni Morrison’s faith and writing, and it’s a breathtaking example of white people missing the point. Senior editor Julia Yost, apparently weary of seeing tributes to and eulogies for the black woman who was arguably America’s greatest living writer–and a Catholic convert–accuses Toni Morrison, who died August 5, of having merely “distilled the spirituality of the suburbs” with her Nobel Prize-winning literature. Imagine the willful ignorance required to misread or misrepresent a… Read more

July 2, 2019

We don’t like to admit it, but the demands of love are changeable. Different situations and different people call for different responses. This is obvious, but it’s also challenging. Love requires us to live with uncertainty and ambiguity. We don’t always know the right things to do or the right ways to love. It is so much easier to think of our lives in terms of rules to follow and obligations to fulfill. This Sunday’s readings are about obligations, but they tell us something… Read more

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