Screwtape Does America

Screwtape Does America January 24, 2017

Stone Demon, Jonathan Ryan


(At four o’clock this morning, I (Jonathan) woke up and thought about the events about the past few days. They’ve been weighing heavily on my head and my heart. For some reason, I thought about my favorite book of spirituality, The Screwtape Letters by. C.S. Lewis.

For those not familiar with the book, Lewis uses the character of a senior devil writing advice to his “nephew.” So, I tried to process everything I’ve been thinking the past few days by writing my own “Screwtape Letter.” As a disclaimer, C.S. Lewis DID NOT, write this. I did, as a thought exercise that I thought I would share with everyone.) 


Dear Glubknob,

My dear nephew, I’m writing to extend my best wishes upon your graduation from the Tempter’s College. By all reports, you excelled in all of your infernal arts classes and that is something to be proud of. You’ve done your best to erase the family stain given to us by that incompetent Wormwood. I’m sure you heard the expressions used at the college, “Don’t pull a Wormwood” or, “You’ve just committed a complete Wormwood.” But, even though he was an incompetent tempter, you must admit, he provided an amazing family feast.

I trust this letter finds you on your way to your first assignment in the American sector. It’s a station in high demand these days, especially amongst all first time tempters. I must say, if I were a younger devil not tied to a desk, I would petition to be stationed there myself. Currently, we are seeing the fruit of Our Father Below’s master plan for this country. And, it really is a master stroke of diabolical planning and effort. I’ve been instructed to give you all the pertinent details. Please keep in mind that what  I’m about to tell you is highly classified. I’m quite sure you don’t need to be reminded of what sort of punishments you will receive if you talk. The whole Wormwood business and that detestable human they call “Lewis” is something I never hear the end of at the High Devils and Dames Club.

Our plan for America has centered around one simple phrase, “Don’t Tell Me What to Do.” It’s an attitude that is corrupted version of what the enemy calls “free will.” Essentially, it believes that an individual person is the final arbitrator of all that is good and true. And, if that belief is in anyway “threatened”, it must be opposed at all cost. This, of course, has the delicious side effect of blossoming into a different form of “pharisee” which must make everyone believe as they do, no matter what the cost. It turns people who disagree with the individual into attacking demons  (if they only knew!). Therefore, that person can be disregarded and turned into the enemy.

Of course, as you can see, these beliefs are inherently contradictory, but that’s because you’ve been taught logic. For humans, being matter and spirit, they don’t always think as we do.  And, I would assert, the Principalities and Powers in charge of our development department showed their true genius when they created this warped mix of ideas (because, damn it all, we STILL can’t create things on our own) and injected it into the American system.

And, they did so at the very beginning of the American experiment. On one hand, the American founders talked about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And they believed they sought the freedom of all people and to promote neighborly tolerance to all races and creeds. In of themselves, these ideas are full of vomit and piss, enough to make even the strongest demonic stomach queasy. But, we did not let this nausea cause us to lose our heads.

We tempted the American founders to embrace the “Don’t Tell Me What to Do” religion. They even put it on a flag, “Don’t tread on me.” And in doing so, they allowed the enslavement of their fellow human beings not only to continue but to flourish. Why? The southern gentlemen had their way of life, after all. And the northerners didn’t want to argue. Because, really, who were they to tell someone what to do?

Further, they committed genocide against entire nations of native people because no one better dare tell them not steal, kill, rape and maim. They cloaked it all with their hypocrisy of the Constitution and what they called “love of country.” Anyone who opposed these ideas were shouted down as opposing individual liberty.

There is a very short history, nephew. You can find the details in Racknock’s library. But, what about now? As I’m sure you’ve been briefed on your way to your assignment, you know well the events of the past week with inauguration of that useful man, Trump, and the subsequent protests and chaos it created. And, this wonderful mess demonstrates Our Father Below’s total victory in America, as he now rules over what humans naively term as “right” and “left.” They are blinded that both embrace the same mantra. Indeed, in the hellish economy, there are no parties of right and left. There is only “useful.”

But, for the lack of better ways to describe their situation, I will use their terms to show you how “Don’t’ Tell Me What to Do” has infected the whole country, including the enemy’s own people. On the right, they’ve just elected a man who is the personification of everything the enemy despises. He is a bloated arrogant, rude, self-involved man who is an arrogant bully. I find it most interesting that many people reject him in America, because he is really is a mirror image of themselves. Of course, there is such a thing of not looking at your own picture in the attic, is there not?

This man will do anything to get what he wants, including assaulting women, attacking people without cause and striking out like a petulant child. Indeed, he’s the icon of “Don’t Tell Me What to Do”: the end result of generations of diabolical work and toil. He refuses to listen to other people while devaluing women and forcing them to do what he says. Many men support him because they want secretly want exactly the same thing: to make women shut up and make it so they won’t have to listen to them. He won’t allow anyone to “influence” his thoughts while taking a bludgeon to anyone who disagree with him. You see how it works?

But, that is not our greatest victory. As always, our most delicate and most satisfying work is destroying those who claim to follow the Bastard of Bethlehem. Instead of the way their “master,” they chose their national idol and mantra. Take, for example, American Catholics. For so long, they’ve been on the outside of American culture. And, they are, perhaps, a little too suspicious of “Don’t Tell Me What to Do.” Instead, we made them buy into the mantra another way. We made them think they were doing “good.” That is, we made them focus on one issue, abortion, at the cost of everything else. And, in their pride, they ignore 2000 years of their church teaching. They listened to American evangelicals and bought into the cultural war mentality, even at the cost of disrespecting that disgusting man who reeks of the enemy and rules over the church. I can’t even stand to write his name.

Many of them will say they voted for this “Trump” to oppose abortion. Perhaps that is so. But, in reality, they do it because “by heaven (or hell, if you prefer a better expression), no damned ladeedaa liberal is gonna tell them what to do,” even if this means opposing the leader of their own church. And in doing so, they’ve attached causes the enemy cherishes to this bloated Idol whom even we can’t believe got elected. We’ve now effectively destroy the witness of our enemies not just in the present but at least another generation. From now on, when people think “pro-life” they will think of this screaming, absurd reality star. My head is still reeling from the victory.

And, lest anyone think that “left wing” people could save them from this idol, we’ve infected them with the same poison. For them, it’s the useful institution known as Planned Parenthood. We’ve now equated support for that institution with supporting women. And, if you dare raise your voice even in measured critique, you’re shouted down as a woman hater, equal to the president they despise. You and I know this is absurd, but again, we’re thinking with logic.

For example, when I first heard about a huge protest against the Idol of “Don’t Tell Me What Do” by millions of women coming together, I was aghast. This could have been a real wake up call to America against misogyny, abuse of women, and the sex trafficking of little girls. And, it threatened to undo years of our work. Thankfully, the Infernal High Command did not panic and used Planned Parenthood to try and lock out the voices of pro-life feminists.

As you can imagine, this allowed those who support the Idol of “Don’t Tell Me What To Do” to use this as an excuse to utterly disregard the real message of the women marching. Thankfully, humans in America don’t use logic. They never realize that everything humans do is always a mixture of good and bad from the enemy’s point of view. He never asks them to be pure, only to show what he calls “mercy” to others as they’ve been shown mercy. Of course, we know he’s not really showing them mercy, but using them for some kind of scheme. But, these humans always want purity, don’t they? They always expect it and it prevents them from seeing the enemy and therefore other people. And they don’t show the mercy that the enemy commands them to show.

So, while there was damage done to our causes through this march, it was not as bad as it could have been, thanks to the Infernal High Command. The poison we injected into the system will destroy any efforts to get rid of “Don’t Tell Me What to Do.” Although, an infernal human with the strange name of “Simcha” might spill the secret.

You see, “Don’t Tell Me What to Do” doesn’t really want dissenting voices or long, extensive conversation. It wants what it wants. It wants it now. It wants it fast. And it doesn’t care what stands in its way. It never wants to admit personal blind spots or possible selfish sins that might even arise from that they term as “doing good.” And thus, it blocks at any real attempts at charity, love, compassion, humility, listening, and every other vomit inducing attempts to what the enemy calls “love”, which we know hides some hidden plan of his that we have yet to figure out.

So, that’s a summary of the current climate. See that your patient drinks deeply from the well of “Don’ t Tell Me What to Do.” It really has made things easier and there is no need to invent the wheel. Remember, don’t fall prey to the human tendency to be in love with your own cleverness. Hell does not encourage creativity. We only want our food supply to remain uninterrupted. Wormwood fills our bellies because he tried to be “clever.”

Write me when you get stateside and we will discuss your patient in a more through manner.

Your affectionate Uncle,


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