Because my husband said I should . . .

Because my husband said I should . . . September 20, 2013

Here is an excerpt from the chapter I’m contributing to a book about marriage:

Children give our bodies purpose.  I always have to laugh when people complain, “The Church treats women like baby-making machines!”  The truth is, the secular world is the one that treats women that way—and expends tremendous amounts of money and effort in trying to find the “off” button, often putting women through years of physical and psychological contortions with one kind of contraception after another.

The Church, on the other hand, teaches that the bodies of men and women are designed the way they are, reproductive systems and all, because they have a specific purpose in life.  What is that purpose?  Something huge:  to make love, literally — to create something, to bring new love into the world.  Sometimes this looks like physically bearing children (whether many or few); sometimes it looks like adopting; sometimes it looks like simply becoming aware that we are all here to love and to be loved.

When we can witness our own, familiar bodies actually doing this right before our very eyes – making something where there used to be nothing, bringing something new into the world – we are compelled to think about why we are here, and why God made us, and what it means to make love.

The book is by Our Sunday Visitor Press.  Will share more details when I get the green light!  It looks like it’s going to be a great project.

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  • Beautiful.

  • anna lisa

    This is beautiful, true and simple. Thank you. I love our new Pope’s simple language too. He cuts right to the heart of matters. I think this is why the rad trads fear him. If we can look at every single human being as a person with God in them, it’s so much harder to justify things like “collateral damage” or the “goats” who were somehow predestined for hell. Just like the article you linked to about food in Russia, there is this strange, avaricious, dark part of the human soul, that craves exclusivity. No. Every single human being was made for love by love. Every single one.

  • Well said!!

  • Leila Miller

    Whoa! Perfect. I’m certain I will be referencing this quote of yours often. You’ve given me yet another book to look forward to as a “must have” in my library.

  • Sherry


  • bearing

    I like the bit about the “off” button. Nice.

  • irishma

    simply brilliant.

  • Rachel

    hmm, I get what you are saying but what about those, like myself, who can’t have kids. I’m nearly infertile. Does my body not have a purpose anymore because I can’t have children?

    • simchafisher

      Of course not, Rachel. That’s why I put in the part about:

      Sometimes this looks like physically bearing children (whether many or few); sometimes it looks like adopting; sometimes it looks like simply becoming aware that we are all here to love and to be loved.

      I mean that our bodies are designed to come together and to make something. Ideally, married couples ought to be able and glad to make children together; but even if they can’t, we ought to be able to see from their very design that “making love” is a good description of sex, and not a euphemism: that we come together to bring forth something new. I meant that our bodies and what they do are a sign that points to something larger, and this is true whether we can produce literal children or not.

      Also, for context: the book is about encouraging couples not to fear marriage and all that comes along with it. I was trying, in my chapter, to help couples overcome the fear and hesitation that might keep them from deliberately remaining childless.

      • Rachel

        Thank you Simcha. I’m sorry that I came across a little “short”. I should have looked at the larger context. I feel that I don’t create anything since I don’t have kids and I probably can’t have them :(. Its one of those things that I’m struggling with

  • Witty, humorous, and right-on target. Great writing! Would love to read the rest.