David Brody says tea party isn’t ‘far-right,’ just ‘constitutional’

David Brody says tea party isn’t ‘far-right,’ just ‘constitutional’ August 4, 2012

David Brody of the Christian Broadcasting Network is upset that his beloved “teavangelicals” were recently described as “far-right.”

That’s liberal speak for saying that these folks are crazy and off the reservation. The Tea Party calls these “far-right” folks “constitutional conservatives.” That’s the difference. The-latte sipping crowd in the NY-DC media corridor sees it one way and writes accordingly. The heartland of this country in flyover country sees a much different reality.

So let’s take another look at Brody’s tea-part/evangelical “constitutional conservatives” and those red-blooded values of the heartland. (You know, “flyover country” — those states that joined the union long after the war for independence was fought and paid for by “the latte-sipping crowd in the NY-DC media corridor.”)

First up, from New Hampshire, the Merrimack Tea Party “retracts comment, apologizes for wishing ‘colon cancer’ on Supreme Court justices.”

Former Town Councilor Mike Malzone, the founder of the Merrimack Tea Party, said Thursday in a Facebook post reacting to the Supreme Court ruling on health care, “I hope the (5 supremes) get colon cancer.”

A day after posting the message, Malzone said he stood by what he said.

… [A few days later], he retracted his statement, removed it from Facebook and replaced it with an apology.

Good Christian values there, see? That’s repentance in action. And after all, the only reason he said he hoped the justices got colon cancer was because they had supported the anti-Christian idea of universal health insurance.

In Tennessee, Eric Lach reports, constitutional conservatives and teavangelicals are rebuking the Republican governor “for, among other things, employing Muslims, gay people, and Democrats.”

At least two of the resolutions, from Stewart County and Williamson County, oppose the Haslam administration’s recent appointment of Samar Ali, 30, as international director at the state’s Department of Economic and Community Development (ECD). Ali, a lawyer and a 2010-2011 White House fellow, received both her undergraduate and law degrees from Vanderbilt University in Nashville, where she was the first Arab-Muslim student body president. In an emailed statement, Clint Brewer, assistant commissioner for communications for ECD, called Ali “one of the brightest leaders of her generation from this state.”

… The Stewart County resolution, meanwhile, lists several grievances against Haslam beside Ali’s appointment. The document faults the governor for retaining state employees hired under former Democratic Gov. Phil Bredesen; for retaining gay people who work in the Department of Children’s Services, and allowing them “to make policy decisions”; and for refusing to sign legislation opposing Agenda 21, a non-binding UN plan concerning sustainable development that is the subject of numerous fringe conspiracy theories.

Good teavangelicals know they have to defend the Constitution against Nicolae Carpathia and his evil Agenda 21. That’s not just some “fringe conspiracy theory” — it’s right there in the Bible. How many letters in the word “Agenda”? Six. So that’s 21 and 6, or 216. And what number, cubed, gives you 216? “Let him that hath understanding count the number.”

David Brody and his teavangelicals hath understanding. Verily, they hath understanding out the wazoo.

For example, the mainstream media totally missed the story about President Barack Obama being a gay marijuana and crack drug addict. But David Brody’s teavangelicals didn’t. Here’s Judson Phillips, head of Tea Party Nation, in an email to his constitutional conservative supporters:

A man … claims that in 1999 he and Barack Obama had sex and then smoked crack cocaine. This is 1999, nine years before Obama would run for President.

Crack cocaine is very addictive. It is very destructive. Addiction specialist will tell you that a crack addiction is very tough to break.

Does that sound like the raving of some “far-right” group to you?

Phillips also says “Americans should be demanding” Obama’s full transcripts from Columbia and Harvard. “How did he get in?” Phillips demands to know.

It has to be Phillips’ deep faith and abiding concern for the Constitution that compels him to wonder how this uppity man managed to steal some God-fearing white student’s place at that prestigious university. What other motive could he possibly have?

Meanwhile, among the teavangelicals in New Mexico:

The Las Cruces Tea Party circulated a signed statement among its members that the Confederate flag was included on the parade float because …

Because why else? Because of the Constitution.

They’re simply constitutional conservatives. What better way to demonstrate one’s commitment to the Constitution than to fly the flag of a treasonous breakaway faction that declared war on that document? It was treason in defense of slavery — but that slavery was, after all, constitutional.

Arizona teavangelicals are demonstrating this same fighting spirit in seeking a recall of Republican Sen. John McCain after the former Republican presidential nominee denounced conspiracy theories about State Department aide Huma Abedin.

Wes Harris, the founder and chairman of the Original North Phoenix Tea Party, spoke to the Arizona Capitol Times, calling McCain an “embarrassment” and saying, “Go to hell, Senator, it’s time for you to take your final dirt nap.”

That’s good teavangelical values, right there. None of that namby-pamby, latte-sipping, Rob-Bell wishy-washiness about Hell. When a Muslim-loving sinner like McCain takes his “final dirt nap” — as Harris hopes the senator does soon! — that sinner will “Go to hell.” Again, it’s right there in the Bible. Somewhere. (Probably right near that verse on abortion.)

Harris had more to say:

“Anyone that is a Muslim is a threat to this country, and that’s a fact,” Harris told the Times. “There is no such thing as a moderate Muslim. If they are Muslim they have to follow the Quran. That’s their religion and that’s their doctrine.”

According to the Times, Harris believes Muslims are incapable of being loyal to the U.S., because he claims that their faith in Islam and the Quran trumps any other allegiance. He also apparently believes Muslims shouldn’t be able to serve in the State Department at all.

“Is [Abedin] a Muslim? Is she an active Muslim?” Harris asked the Times. “I rest my case. That’s all she needs to be.”

David Brody must be very pleased with this non-at-all far-right teavangelical perspective. Harris is just a constitutional conservative — that’s why he’s discussing a religious test for public office, a topic discussed right there in the Constitution.

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