I drive my car, it is a witness

• This happens in your town, every day:

The next person in line said, “If you pay for them, do they come back the next night figuring you’ll pay for them again?”

He said, “No, never. We never see them again. That woman who just left here … you will never see her in this market again. It’s too painful. It just reminds them of how bad off they were that night.”

• The Phelpsian Benham brothers hate gays, Muslims and feminists. Or, as Franklin Graham sees it, “they stood up for Biblical truth.” Because for Franklin Hophni Phineas Graham, that’s what “biblical truth” means.

And that’s all that biblical truth means.

Now Franklin is trying to figure out if there’s any way he can personally profit from this, the way he did by flogging the World Vision thing for weeks with the single-minded intent of poaching as much of their donor list as he possibly could.

• Christian pastors lying about birth control? That never happens.

• Christian leaders lying about abortion? That never happens.

• Christian politicians lying about Planned Parenthood? That … oh, let’s cut the act — that happens constantly.

• Weatherizing your house to prevent leaks wastes less energy and saves you money on heating and cooling costs. That’s common sense: Waste is bad. I wouldn’t have guessed, 20 years ago, that such a basic fact could ever become politicized, or that stopping waste would come to be a partisan issue — something reflexively opposed by one of America’s two political parties. But since Al Gore and Agenda 21 are in favor of cutting waste, and since wasting energy means the Koch brothers get to refine more oil, we now live in a country in which caulk, insulation and storm windows are “liberal” threats to freedom and in which “true patriots” prefer the crappiest, costliest lightbulbs they can find.

That’s depressing to contemplate, so let’s cheer ourselves up with this video from a more innocent time — a time when South Carolina enlisted the late great Godfather of Soul to help promote weatherization.

• Speaking of James Brown, here are Biff Gore and Sisaundra Lewis performing “This Is a Man’s World” on NBC’s The Voice. Neither of these singers is any longer still in the running on the show.

America: You are barbarians and you should be ashamed of yourselves.