Sometimes I forget that most people did not have the great privilege of taking middle-school Bible classes with Kingsley Baehr, and thus may not remember the story of Hophni and Phinehas. It doesn’t come up a great deal, although it surfaces occasionally in sermons on parenting — sometimes graciously, sometimes awfully — as a go-to biblical passage describing a virtuous parent who nonetheless wound up with a couple of good-for-nothing, wicked sons.
Hophni and Phinehas were those sons. Their father was Eli, the Israelite high priest we meet in the book of 1 Samuel. The child Samuel is given over to the care of this priest. Eli seems kind and treats the young Samuel well, providing him with wise and virtuous advice. Eli seems to do the same with his own sons, but with them none of this wisdom or kindness seems to have the same effect.
“Eli’s sons were scoundrels,” we read in 1 Samuel 2:12, “they had no regard for the Lord.” The chapter goes on to describe the way they extorted a larger, better share of the peoples’ sacrifices than what was due to the priests of the tabernacle, saying things like “Hand it over now; if you don’t, I’ll take it by force.”
The bottom line was that “they were treating the Lord’s offering with contempt” and “this sin of the young men was very grievous in the Lord’s sight.” 1 Samuel continues:
Now Eli, who was very old, heard about everything his sons were doing to all Israel and how they slept with the women who served at the entrance to the tent of meeting. So he said to them, “Why do you do such things? I hear from all the people about these wicked deeds of yours. No, my sons; the report I hear spreading among the Lord’s people is not good. If one person sins against another, God may mediate for the offender; but if anyone sins against the Lord, who will intercede for them?” His sons, however, did not listen to their father’s rebuke.
So we’ve got a well-meaning father who is very old, but his sons have largely taken over the family business serving as the high priests of their people. And the sons are wicked — ambitious self-seekers who exploit their people and treat the Lord’s offering with contempt.
That’s the story of Hophni and Phinehas. (Spoiler alert: This does not end well for them.) Eli lives to the age of 98, when, as a blind and confused old man, he learns that the Philistines have captured the Ark of the Covenant and slain his wicked sons. Eli falls over and dies. Phinehas’ pregnant wife hears this news and goes into labor. Before dying in childbirth she names their son “Ichabod,” which means “no glory,” because “the glory has departed from Israel.”
This is where, and why, Ichabod Crane got his name. And why that name is so perfectly apt.
And this is also why I have taken to usually referring to Franklin Graham as “Franklin Hophni Phinehas Graham.” Because it seems like that name is also perfectly apt.
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The photo at the top is from a terrific Flickr album by Mod Betty of photographs of Icabod’s Plaza here in Exton, Pa. Originally built as “deluxe cabins” in the 1930s, this collection of small buildings later became a motor lodge/motel and then still later apartments.
Alas, the site — on Lancaster Avenue/U.S. 30 just over a mile from here — was also adjacent to the Foote Mineral Co. property, where back in the day they used to process lithium ore. This is why we have a municipal water system around here instead of using well water. The company’s “three unlined settling lagoons had already been leveled and backfilled” long before Superfund administrators took over the site, which is now partly a lovely park with a really nice system of trails and partly a Sunoco facility with a not-so-lovely set of giant oil tanks.
All of that means that the decrepit, abandoned, and wonderfully named Icabod’s Plaza will likely neither be restored nor fully demolished any time soon. It will remain an odd little ghost town on the side of a busy highway in development-crazy Chester County.
Oh, and it’s also only about a half a mile from the Exton Square Mall — coming soon to a theater near you. Yes, Jay and Silent Bob are coming to my home town next month to begin filming the sequel to Mall Rats right here in Chesco.
I am desperately hoping that Kevin Smith’s location scouts have taken note of the nearby Icabod’s Plaza. I’m not sure how that site would fit into Mallbrats, but it’d be the perfect location for a scene with Loki and Bartleby if he ever decides to make a Dogma II.
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