You can learn things with others than you don’t learn by yourself or with just one other person. Group spiritual direction is an excellent way to explore your spiritual path with other people wanting to do the same. In group direction you discover: You are not alone in your questions, doubts, or need to articulate your faith. While your spiritual path is unique and it may parallel another person’s from time to time. God interacts with each of us... Read more
Two people sitting in a quiet, private space perhaps with a lighted candle on a table nearby, discussing whatever life experience the directee shares. That’s spiritual direction. At the first visit, the two of you will likely spend some time getting to know one another. After the initial “meet and greet,” the spiritual director will begin the session in his or her own way. I like to invite a time of silence, asking the directee to “take as much or... Read more
When you are in need of a safe place to share your spiritual questions and experiences, individual spiritual direction is a good place to start. The one-on-one approach allows for deep, confidential and slow-paced sharing. Typical one-on-one spiritual direction involves a 50-60 minute session between a spiritual director and you, the directee. The director is trained to listen and enhance your exploration with questions, reflections and times of silence. You should enter a session ready to talk because the directee... Read more
It’s great to have a friend you can talk to about your spiritual life. But that’s not the same as having a spiritual director. You may be wondering why anyone who has a good spiritual friend would want or need a spiritual director. As a person who has had both–spiritual friends and directors (over the years)–I can say with confidence that the relationships are very different. Friends care deeply about us. They may even worry about us at times. Friends... Read more
There are very real differences between spiritual direction and counseling (also known as therapy). You may be wondering which one is best for you in your current life situation. One thing we learn in spiritual direction training is that spiritual direction can be therapeutic but that doesn’t mean it is therapy! Just like therapy can be spiritually enriching without being spiritual direction. So it’s important to know the differences. One obvious difference is that counseling generally takes place once a week... Read more
A common misconception is that spiritual direction is mostly about people’s discomfort or problems. In fact, much of what spiritual directors do is help you savor, appreciate and explore wonderful places in your life–places where you feel deeply connected to the source of all life. This is an important practice because as the world seems to speed up, we can easily push right past those moments where the holy “breaks through” and touches our lives. Taking time to savor what... Read more
Spiritual exploration is not for the fainthearted. If all you want from your spiritual journey is success and ease, then forget spiritual direction. In most all spiritual traditions—and especially Christianity—it can be a painful process to “see the light.” One Quaker notion is that even while we desire the light of Christ in our heart, that same light shines into all the dirty corners of our life causing us to see parts of ourselves that we spend a lot of... Read more
I’ll throw down with Tony Jones any day and talk about God. Gladly. In fact, that’s what spiritual directors do all the time. It’s our job to draw people’s attention to how they are experiencing God (although they or we might use a thousand different names for the creator). And while I don’t offer my own theology in spiritual direction very often (sessions are never about me) I am pretty transparent about who God is for me, especially if asked point-blank.... Read more
What does spiritual direction actually do for a person? How can we assess whether this practice is contributing to our spiritual growth? It takes time and the power of observation, but those questions can be answered rather concretely. The longer you see a spiritual director who gets to know you quite well, the easier it is for both of you to evaluate spiritual growth over time. Usually, the directee is the one who definitively names what they have seen happening... Read more
Discernment doesn’t have to be some heavy, serious, complicated process. Just this week I was reading a denominational booklet designed to help churches discern their growth strategy, and it was exhausting to read all the intricate instructions. It even suggested that groups spend time discerning whether or not to use that particular discernment model. You can see how such instructions can easily discourage people from moving forward. I like a good process as much as the next guy, but I... Read more
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