I’m not one to criticize people for buying coffee at a coffee shop.
I don’t go around grumbling about young people who can’t afford houses because they eat avocados and go to fancy newfangled coffee bars instead of using a percolator and a big drum of Choc Full O’Nuts. That’s something curmudgeonly baby boomers do. If that’s how you choose to spend your time and budget, cool beans. I also am willing to pay extra for convenience if I can afford to do it. That’s a perfectly legitimate use of resources. You do you.
But I’ve got to admit, when I hear that people feel victimized that Starbucks will be closed for exactly one day, about which we’re being warned a month in advance, I start muttering “snowflake.”
It’s one day, everyone. Not even one day without custom-made coffee; just one day without custom-made coffee at that particular chain. All the other chains will be open. It’s not even really a day without Starbucks, because they’re not taking all the many Starbucks products off the shelves at grocery stores. You can go to Kroger, buy a bag of Starbucks coffee grounds, dust off your percolator or get a coffee machine at the thrift store. Thrift stores always have coffee machines. You can buy a bag of coffee a day ahead of time and soak it overnight in a giant pitcher of water, then strain it through cheesecloth to make your own cold brew. Michael and I do that at least once every week, unless canned coffee is on clearance. It’s yummy. You can even go to the refrigerator section of the grocery store where the juice is, and buy a quart of ready-made Starbucks cold brew. Pour it over ice or warm it in a saucepan, spray Redi Whip on it, mispronounce your own name, drink it in front of your laptop at home. We will get through this.
And now I feel like Austin Ruse.
I am sorry.
Let me reiterate that I don’t mock you for buying special coffee. Special coffee is a wonderful treat. Special coffee can easily become a daily habit and missing special coffee can ruin your morning. I also don’t mock any of you fancy big city folks who think Starbucks is actually crappy coffee and the best coffee comes from trendy family-owned artisan shops in cobblestone hipster neighborhoods. In addition I don’t mock people who call Folgers “the good stuff” and look forward to opening that sealed can and sniffing the grounds every morning. I don’t even mock people who put butter in their coffee. Everybody’s fine. But since Starbucks is closing for sensitivity training so that random innocent black men won’t be arrested for sitting there anymore, and not for some terrible sordid reason, I think we all need to tighten our belts and soldier through this. We will survive. May 29th will come and go. May 30th will find us still there, tired and groggy but very much alive, and things will go on just as they were before.
Take courage. It’s just one day.
We’ve been through a lot worse.
(image via Pixabay)