How To Write A Listicle

Last updated on: July 9, 2017 at 5:11 pm By Mary Pezzulo

It seems like nothing gets published these days unless it’s in listicle format. In my day, we learned to write paragraphs with good strong opening sentences and mic-dropping closing sentences– but we didn’t call them mic-dropping, because the phrase “mic drop” hadn’t been invented yet. We wrote thoughtful, grammatically correct middle sentences of varying lengths to create a smooth prose that was pleasant for a literate audience. We put a title at the top whether the teacher reminded us... Read more

A Baptist Walks Into A Casino…

Last updated on: November 20, 2017 at 3:02 pm By Mary Pezzulo

People keep making Baptist jokes lately. “The difference between a Baptist and a Catholic is that Baptists don’t speak to one another at the liquor store. ‘ “I only invite two or more Baptists whenever I go fishing. Otherwise they will drink all my beer.” Want to hear a really good story about a Baptist? It’s a true one, too. A Baptist walks into a casino… Let me start at the beginning. Michael’s grandpa was a Baptist and a self-identified... Read more

The Firework People

Last updated on: July 6, 2017 at 12:31 am By Mary Pezzulo

There was an enormous explosion up the street. “That one’s got to be illegal,” I said to myself. People in LaBelle like their fireworks. This isn’t exactly a safe place for fireworks– the houses here are so close together that on some blocks, the eaves overlap. The yards are small; there’s plenty of overgrown grass and brush, and July is the time of year that’s closest to being dry in the Ohio Valley. But that never stops them. They save up... Read more

The Infamous Fourth of July Backyard Extravaganza

Last updated on: July 4, 2017 at 7:25 pm By Mary Pezzulo

I’m pretty famous for telling horrendous stories about my childhood on the Planet Charismatic. How about this: a lighthearted story from my childhood, in which I almost burned alive? It’s seasonal too. This should be fun. My younger brother M liked fire. He liked to stare in fascination at the hearth when we burned cardboard boxes for warmth in the wintertime; he burned inscriptions into plywood with a magnifying glass in the summer. On the rare occasions when we went to... Read more

Some Say Peter

Last updated on: July 3, 2017 at 2:16 pm By Mary Pezzulo

There are saints who seem like strangers to me, and Peter and Paul go into that category. Read more

Ohio Valley Canticle

Last updated on: June 29, 2017 at 2:59 am By Mary Pezzulo

I've been trying to fit in here for almost eleven years now-- trying to find a place, any place, in Steubenville, but it hasn't worked out. Read more

Notes from Notre Dame (Part Three)

Last updated on: June 26, 2017 at 2:24 pm By Mary Pezzulo

I woke up on Saturday morning and stuffed an overpriced Kind bar in my mouth. Then I high-tailed it out the door to attend the final day of the Trying To Say God conference. It took only two tries to find DeBartolo Hall, at which point I realized that I’d forgotten my name tag. I didn’t trust myself to run back and get it. Once DeBartolo Hall allows itself to be found, it may not be so generous a second time.... Read more

Notes from Notre Dame (Part Two)

Last updated on: June 25, 2017 at 11:44 pm By Mary Pezzulo

(Yes, I am aware that this image is of the wrong Notre Dame.) I woke up in the morning on the first full day of the Trying To Say God Conference at the beautiful University of Notre Dame in exotic South Bend, Indiana. I swallowed my various anti-chronic-fatigue tonics and a bottle of Starbucks Cold Brew; thus fortified, I attempted to find DiBartolo Hall before continental breakfast was over. For anyone else who ends up wandering the labyrinth that is Notre... Read more

All of Us Relics

Last updated on: June 27, 2017 at 12:29 pm By Mary Pezzulo

I get along better with relics than with live people. Read more

Notes from Notre Dame (Part One)

Last updated on: June 23, 2017 at 12:34 am By Mary Pezzulo

Somehow, Patheos sent a hack like me to the Trying To Say God Conference at the University of Notre Dame in South Bend, Indiana. They may live to regret this. Regular followers of this blog know that I do not get out of town very much. I have chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia and a full blown allergy to getting overheated; my idea of a fast-paced adventure involves taking the bus to both the library and Aldi in the same afternoon. But... Read more