Raising Meatatarians (Mostly)

During our most-recent vacation/cross-country trek/annual ordeal, I stumbled across an interesting (if hilariously unanticipated) side-effect of my sons’ speedy consumption of the latest and now-troubled season of “The Legend of Korra.”

When we travel, we tend to stop at McDonald’s for meals. Fast food is a rarity for us, so it always feels like a bit of a reward for the boys. Plus, it’s…well…fast. And about as cheap and tidy a way to deal with the truly terrifying amounts of food required to keep them happy (or at last quiet) as we hurtle along the Interstate(s).

Anyway, as we pulled away from a Mickey D’s somewhere in Northern Utah and begin …um…distributing lunch throughout the van, David (#4 Son) piped up from the back: “Do we have anything other than hamburgers? Because I’m trying to be a vegetarian!”

Great. Driving down the Utah highway at 80+ MPH with 25+ hamburgers, and I’ve got a kid that doesn’t want meat.

Thinking back, it should not have come as a complete shock. The Air Nomads from “Legend of Korra” (and from the even-better “Avatar: The Last Airbender”) are the coolest/chillest of the four tribes. And they’re (by most accounts, anyway) vegetarians. So, in hindsight, not a shock. But at the time, downright unsettlin’. And more than a little inconvenient.

Luckily, though, James (Son #5) was sitting right behind him. James is quickly becoming the least-predicable of the bunch (at least to me), and he’s got a quick-and-quirky sense of humor. (I can’t really tell where he’s going, most of the time. But it’s fun to tag along.)

All of which helps to explain the fact that immediately after the David bombshell, Jamie piped up entirely unprompted from the seat behind him:

“Is there such a thing as a meatetarian?

…Because THAT’S what I’m trying to be!”

Attribution(s): “Meat-Loving Child” courtesy of Getty Images, which allows the use of certain images “as long as the photo is not used for commercial purposes (meaning in an advertisement or in any way intended to sell a product, raise money, or promote or endorse something);” “Cohen-esque James” courtesy of me.