Blogs That Should Have Been

This is how I write a blog entry: I go about my generally hectic life, trying desperately to accomplish everything I have to accomplish . . . you know, get the kids to school, remember appointments at work, visit all the people I need to visit, return emails, show up for special events, plan worship, make dinner, help with homework, return emails . . . . While I am doing all of this, I sometimes am jarred from my steady pace by experiences I have in which I think: “Oh, this would make a great blog entry!”

Usually I write down my ideas on a to-do list and hope that a few moments of quiet coincide with just a little inspiration and I can produce something decent enough to post.

The last few weeks have provided plenty of occasions like this one, but overall life has been notably void of time to sit down and write. Instead, it’s like one frantic rush from this thing to the next, and somewhere in all of the madness the moment of creative energy slipped right on by.

As my attempt to get back on track (and insure that my random thoughts receive the placement into perpetuity that they most certainly deserve), I thought I’d list the blogs that should have been but weren’t . . . because the pace of life passed them by.

1. Long after we should have here at Calvary we’ve decided to take on the “culling of the library books.” This time-honored tradition apparently has not been observed often at Calvary, and thus I found myself in Woodward Hall surrounded by many (many!) boxes of library books. I was assigned this task because I am the closest thing to an expert on scripture commentaries and other religious books (God help us). Nevertheless, I took on the task with great optimism, determined to ruthlessly emancipate the church from hundreds of obsolete volumes (keep in mind, the Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered in 1947 or so-this changed the face of biblical scholarship . . . ). However, like Edmund, the White Witch, and Turkish Delight, despite my determination to be ruthless I was inexplicably lured by the power of the books. While I stalwartly determined to exercise my culling power lavishly (as objectively needed to be done!), I found myself thinking, “Well, so-and-so might like this one” . . . or, “You know, I should really have a copy of this in my library . . . “. When I set aside The Care and Feeding of the Minister from the Minister’s Wife’s Perspective I knew I had hit rock bottom and needed serious help.

2. In my ongoing attempt to collect evidence to prove that elementary school teachers devote their entire careers to torturing parents I’ve recently found myself researching various aspects of the Cree Indian Tribe. Now, political correctness aside (I am sure they are fabulous native peoples), I could care less about the Cree Indians. And I am significantly offended by the fact that many of my evenings lately have been devoted to creating projects (that’s right-PLURAL!) about their history. A few weeks ago when I found myself in the local hardware store late in the evening (pushing open hours) begging the clerk for anything that might remotely resemble any kind of ancient tool of the Cree (or anybody, really . . . at that point I didn’t care), I decided I have had enough. Is there some legislation passed to require that all parents relive 4th grade? If not, I demand we be released from this tyranny. From now on (call me a terrible parent . . . you won’t be the first), Sammy is on his own!

3. Alas, my digital camera has died. Had it not I most certainly would have stopped by the side of the road to photograph an old US Postal Service mailbox (the big kind), repainted red and set outside the local Baptist church with the label: Prayer Box. It’s hard to say what kind of blog would have accompanied that picture, but if you’ve been reading long enough you can probably guess.

4. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, South Georgia. This experience most assuredly would fill many a blog entry. We had the privilege of traveling to Sylvania, Georgia for the wedding of our dear friends Elizabeth and Kevin. The wedding deserves an entire blog site to itself (and probably has one over at Elizabeth’s blog) but the whole experience provided some good fodder for blog ideas. Aside from the “prayer box,” these were the ideas that crossed my mind: We stayed in the only hotel in Sylvania, Georgia, the Days Inn. We stayed in the suite. The suite was a very long room with three double beds lined up in a row, which was totally serviceable for the family. The day of the wedding we headed over to the town beauty salon, A Cut Above, and reenacted scenes from Steel Magnolias. I have never in my life breathed in so much hairspray or spent so much time in conversations about children in beauty pageants.

5. The wedding itself was really beautiful. However, as Kevin and Elizabeth decided to completely shock the good folks of Sylvania with not one but two female clergy performing the ceremony , the comments I heard after the service were truly blogable. Despite the funny comments, as far as I know everyone survived and Kevin and Elizabeth are now definitely married.

Here we pay homage to blogs that should have been and move boldly into the future, awaiting whatever’s next. Stay tuned!