Most experts advise against rebound relationships because newly divorced people need time to recover from their divorce and any emotional baggage that needs to be dealt with. Put simply, we need to put these ghosts and past memories in their proper place so that we can be fully available for a new partner. However, in certain cases when people go into them with realistic expectations, they can help facilitate healing and boost a person’s self-confidence.
Dating a few different people casually can give you the opportunity to figure out what type of partner you need to thrive after divorce. Trying out new relationships can be less risky if both partners are honest with each other about their goals; and don’t see the partnership as long-term.
If you go into a rebound relationship with your eyes wide open, you stand a better chance of recovering more quickly if it ends badly. You’re also less likely to repeat any dating disasters. Being cautious as you proceed into the dating world post-divorce will serve you well in the long-run!
On the down side, getting involved in a rebound relationship is a risky proposition. If you’re feeling lonely after divorce, it’s easy to fall for someone before you’re truly ready to begin dating again. So, it makes sense to explore the reasons why rebound relationships should be avoided. Most experts believe people who are newly divorced probably aren’t ready to jump headlong into a romantic relationship. The chance of a rebound relationship having long-term potential is slim. Truth be told, there are many reasons why it rarely ends well.
However, there are certain situations when entering into a rebound relationship after divorce can work out. That said, they can serve a purpose and be healthy if both parties go into the partnership with clear boundaries and they’re on the same page.
5 reasons why a rebound relationship may be right for you:
- It can help you ease the transition from married to single life. But it’s only true if both parties go into the relationship with realistic expectations – knowing the boundaries and the other person’s intention.
- It can give you the opportunity to figure out what type of partner compliments you. It’s impossible to do this when you are flying solo. Most people learn from experience rather than just reading about relationship dynamics. You can also figure out what you don’t want.
- It can provide companionship. Newly separated and divorced people are usually feeling pretty lonely so you’re probably not ready to engage in a long-term relationship – a fling may be just what you need to help you recover.
- If you’re eager to remarry, consider testing out a new relationship to see if you’re ready. Many people end up picking a partner who has similar characteristics to their ex. Consequently, you may need to date several people before you find someone who is a good match for you.
- Sometimes a rebound relationship works out! In certain cases, especially if you are over 30 and know what you want, a rebound relationship may be fertile ground for a successful long-term relationship.
In conclusion, proceed cautiously if you are going to venture into a rebound relationship. If you decide to take the risk, take off your rose-colored glasses and realize that most don’t end up being long-term. On the other hand, a rebound relationship may give you a boost in confidence and help reduce isolation after your divorce.
Find Terry on Twitter, Facebook, and, movingpastdivorce.com. Terry’s award-winning book Daughters of Divorce: Overcome the Legacy of Your Parents’ Breakup and Enjoy a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship is available on her website. Her new book The Remarriage Manual: How to Make Everything Work Better the Second Time Around was published by Sounds True on February 18, 2020.
I’d love to hear from you and answer your questions about relationships, divorce, marriage, and remarriage. Please ask a question here. Thanks! Terry