"Limited Dictatorships" Of The Americas

So, Hugo Chavez thinks he should be allowed to run a dictatorship for a year:

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez on Tuesday asked congress to grant him special powers to enact laws by decree for one year, just before a new legislature takes office with a larger contingent of opposition lawmakers.

The measure would give the president the ability to bypass the National Assembly for the fourth time since he was first elected almost 12 years ago.

How much do you want a bet that Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid read this and slapped their hands to their foreheads saying: We coulda had a Dic-Tate! Of course! Why didn’t we think of this? This is pure genius!

I suspect that this conversation took place in the White House yesterday, probably between Valerie Jarrett, Michelle Obama and Robert Gibbs:

Jarrett: (waving headlines at Gibbs) Did you see this? Did you see it? Why haven’t you suggested this? Be more like Rahm!

Gibbs: (blinking furiously and ducking) Come on, Valerie, it’s Chavez; he’s a clown! It’s Venezuela! This is America; even the left has its lines, and a dictatorship is the line!

Obama (talking between them): Just think how much we could get done in a year…

Jarrett: I want you to get on the phone right now, before this congress goes home, and tell Pelosi and Reid to put this in motion!

Gibbs: Do you understand Americans? Do you understand there is no way Americans would stand for this?

Obama: I could shut down every hamburger joint in America…that’ll teach him to sneak out…

Jarrett: Don’t you lecture me about America; I am America! What’s more American than running Chicago from the sidelines?

Obama: I could make the whole nation work their biceps and triceps…

Gibbs: There is not a single American on the planet who would sit still for a dictatorship, even for just one year! It goes against every instinct –

Obama: We could order every Alaskan citizen to remain within the boundaries of the state for a period of ten years, under penalty of death…death by caribou hoards!

Jarrett: (to Gibbs) If I can find one American citizen who would support making Obama dictator for a year, would you play along?

Gibbs: (reverting to his normal level of smugness) Sure, if you can find one American to go along with it…

Enter Woody Allen talking on a cell phone: I think it would be good…if Obama could be a dictator for a few years because he could do a lot of good things quickly. Yes, I think Michael Moore would agree, and I think you would too, wouldn’t you? Yes? Let me put you on speaker…”

Voice of Tom Friedman wafts through the room: I have fantasized . . .what if we could just be China for a day? I mean, just, just, just one day. You know, I mean, where we could actually, you know, authorize the right solutions, and I do think there is a sense of that, on, on everything from the economy to environment!

Obama: China! Oh, let’s be China! We could suspend all our debt by giving them Alaska!

The room echoes: Genius!