suddenly I am an environmentalist…

… hard to believe, I know. Since my lawn isn’t emo and will cut itself the next best thing is to designate it a nature preserve. When my neighbors start to complain about my unsightly overgrown yard I will simply explain that it is part of an urban renewal conservation program aimed at creating a habitat for a special breed of endangered local snake. Then I will sit on my porch watching the grass grow while collecting environment grant money from Uncle Bam.