Carolina cooking …

… Look, every one knows I’m no kitchen connoisseur, but at least I try from time to time. It’s not every night I have cereal and a vodka tonic for dinner.

I also know there’s no shortage in the niche of Catholic Cooking on the interwebs; Father Z has dibs on the fancified food fair and Jimmy Akin has dibs on the low carb healthy stuff. My favorite, The Catholic Foodie, is the more realistic of the two… in that it’s stuff I can actually make and it’s stuff I’d actually eat. And for those who prefer a liquid diet, after my own heart, is Catholic Drinkie. God love her!

But there seems to be an untapped market on my favorite kind of food… Food That Will Kill You. I’m an expert on that. I’ve got tons of recipes I’ve concocted and altered into unholy alliances of gravy and butter. Your arteries have been warned.

One of my favorite chicken dishes, and Southern staple worthy of it’s own food group, is Fried Chicken. I use a whole chicken because it’s cheaper than paying the butcher to de-bone the meat. And really, why should the butcher have all the fun? So break out your sharpest butcher knife and start whacking into that succulent carcass.

Ingredients:
Whole chicken
Flour
Corn Oil
Salt
A Couple Sticks of Butter
Black Pepper
Chili Powder
Cayenne Powder
Tabasco Sauce

It’s good to prepare your side dishes before you start dressing your kill. The process is messy, or maybe that’s just me, and it helps to get the smaller stuff out the way. Put on a pot of green beans to simmer; don’t forget the bacon. Lots of bacon. And butter. And salt. Remember, I’m trying to kill you.

Go ahead and place your pan of corn oil on the burner to start heating up too. It’s ready when you flick a bit of water on it and the oil sizzles like a sinner in Hell.

In a large mixing bowl combine 2 eggs, some buttermilk, and Texas Pete Tabasco sauce. Now take your dismembered meat parts and soak it in the mixture.

In another larger mixing boil dump in some baking flour. Add black pepper, chili powder, cayenne pepper. Next, bread your chicken in the flour mixture and get them nice and coated.

How’s the oil coming? Is it frying like unrepentant souls?

You are now ready. Gently lower your chicken into the searing hot oil. Gently! Or not; go ahead and chuck it in there. You’ll learn quick enough. Don’t mess with the meat too much while it’s frying or risk losing some of the crispy breading. It’s ready when it’s golden brown.

While the chicken is frying, I like to make a corn bread loaf using a box of Jiffy because it easy, and a stick of butter because it’s good. Follow the instructions on the box. Don’t forget to grease the pan… with butter. Check the corn bread after a few minutes and when the top starts to get a bit firm, brush melted butter on the bread with a sauce brush.

Now your chicken is done. Drain the chicken and serve on a couple of Dixie paper plates. Don’t forget the ice tea, y’all.