how to not write like you’re crazy…

… unless you are crazy. Then I can’t help you because there’s no hiding crazy.

Mrs. Fisher has an excellent piece that includes tips on writing well.

Most of her advice is for those intelligible writers who write professionally. Or at least the bloggers and writers who aspire to be regarded as such and whose goal is reader comprehension. I have no such aspirations. Obviously.

The best advice is her final advice; “If you find yourself using emoticons, chop your hands off.”

I’ve discussed this before and we share the same sentiment on the use of emoticons. There is only one rule for their use and it’s a simple one. Don’t do it. Ever.

I would also like to officially end the use of “LOL”. In the real world, people who laugh at their own jokes are crazy. Don’t put your crazy in print for all the world to see. You keep your crazy deeply hidden away.

You don’t need me to remind you about the use of Caps Locks. If you do, you’re probably crazy. If that’s the case, you’ll do what you anyway. Crazy people don’t follow social mores, much less typing etiquette. If you question your sanity in any way it’s a safe bet that you should not use this function. In fact, go ahead right now and pry the Caps Lock button off your key board.

Exclamations points. Crazy people use them to express their craziness. I might excuse the over excessive use of the exclamation point if you are Italian. In that case, I understand that it’s the equivalent of arm waving and hand gestures. To deny you this expressive punctuation mark in the written word would completely deny your ability to express yourself. Parla pazzo!!!!!

Grammar Nazis are crazy. Crazier, in fact, than people who are too lazy to check their spelling, such as myself, or who make innocuous typos. I am much more forgiving of a typo in an article or blog post than I am of the Anonymous person who comments and corrects the author’s spelling. Do you go around correcting the way everyone speaks? Do you correct your co-worker’s or boss’s spelling on work documents? Then you are crazy. And not in the endearing way, like the drunk neighbor who collects cats. But in the obnoxious way that no one likes. No one wants to be friends with the know-it-all.

Lastly, only crazy people take advice from bloggers on the computer.