no girls allowed…

no girls allowed… October 27, 2011

… It takes an almost monumental amount of effort to help my son secure a place in his life where he can just be boy. I realize that as I single mother I can not replace the absence of his father and fatherly influences so I don’t even try.

Instead, I actively seek opportunities and organizations that cater to young men and, more specifically, are led by positive masculine role models. This is no small task. In schools the majority of instructors are female… and liberal. Deadly combinations to a young man. Most of these female teachers do not like boys and will be quick to tell you young men are always their most difficult students. Instead of recognizing there exists major biological differences in how boys and girls learn these ‘educators’ attack young men as ‘problem children’ and suggest they be fed Ritalin. You can thank feminism for this. Feminism was not a champion of women’s rights and gender equality. That was just a ruse. The real agenda of feminism was to indoctrinate into society the belief that women are better than men. To a liberal and feminist, qualities associated with manhood are bad and aggressive. So young men in school are not allowed to rough house on the playground or be competitive in sports and academics.

To combat all this negativity directed at boys I have my son involved in exclusively all boys’ clubs and organizations. He is training to be an altar server at a parish where girls are not permitted to serve. He is in a boy’s choir and has been a Cub Scout for 4 years. Each of these organizations are led by great men whom my son looks up to. Of these, the one association that has been the most positive influence is the Boy Scouts.

When I was approached to be a den leader I adamantly declined. I do not think mother’s, no matter how well-meaning, need to be involved with Boy Scouts as leaders. It is not sexist to suggest that mothers can bring the snacks to meetings or handle the administrative aspects of their son’s pack instead. It’s not sexism; it’s a matter of recognizing who is more qualified for the task of leading a group of young boys on camping trips and other manly excursions.

In the news this morning was the story of a young boy fighting to join the Girl Scouts, or more accurately, his mother is fighting to get him into the Girl Scouts. I suppose it’s only a matter of time before some other abrasive woman decides her daughter deserves to be in the Boy Scouts and cries ‘discrimination’. No matter how bad this little boy and his mother want him to be a girl, he is not. Perhaps if this child had more male influences he would not want to be a girl. It is the mother’s responsibility to help her son discern this, not demand that an entire organization dumbly turn a blind eye to the obvious.

I firmly believe that boys, and girls too, need to have separate organizations that allow for free expression characteristic of their gender. Children learn by emulating the behavior of their peers. Simply, boys learn how to be men by interacting with men and being around other boys. To demand that boys and girls participate in everything equally does the opposite for equality. It breeds resentment and frustration.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • If you have the opportunity to get him into an all-boys middle school and or high school I would highly recommend it.

    • I’ve looked into it. He might be able to attend one based on his academic performance. We’ll have to see. Specialized schools like that are pricey.

  • Ad Orientem

    Bravo! Excellent and well written post.

  • robertgwirth

    Excellent, Kat! When I was a kid (graduated high school 1962) things were still reasonably sensible in this regard. I think you’re doing the right thing, and good for you!

  • A little late: There have already been a few efforts to force BSA to allow girls in the boys’ clubhouse. It would be nice if people would stop co-opting kids for their political agendas ….

  • EL R

    Girls actually are allowed in Boy Scouts at the Venture level (age 14 and up). The crews (that’s what these “troops” are called) have specific purposes and are NOT the same as being in a regular troop. Some crews like high adventure trips. I believe my sister-in-law was in a law enforcement crew that did volunteer police ride-alongs and such. I think both my husband and the same sister-in-law were in a Native American dance crew. It has its place, but as for the real troops – there should definitely be no girls allowed. They should be for helping our boys to grow to be strong men under the leadership and guidance of their male role models. This is precisely why my husband in the Boy Scout parent in our house! 🙂

  • Florence Gray

    I just want to say “Right on!” to everything in this post. 🙂

  • Heather F

    In Canada, Scouting is already co-ed, although we have Girl Guides as well.

    • Yinekka

      In Australia Scouting is also co-ed and we too have the Girl Guides.

  • Refreshing. And true. Thanks for posting.

  • Seraphic

    I agree, and I think girls in the Boy Scouts is ridiculous. In my day, every Canadian Brownie could tell you how Brownies and Girl Guides/Girl Scouts got started: the raggle-taggle band of girls who joined the Boy Scouts march at Crystal Palace. Lord Baden-Powell turns to his sister and says (I paraphrase), “Goodness! What’s this! I like their spirit, Agnes, do something.” So, lo, B-P’s sister starts the Girl Guides (Scouts in the US) and eventually B-Ps 20-year younger wife becomes “World Chief Guide”. So, actually, sisters were speaking for themselves back in 1910 (or whatever it was), no pushy mamas needed, and Girl Scouts have been around for 100 years.

    What this girl’s mom wants is for her daughter to hang out with boys, as if boys were sooooo much better than girls, or if things run for boys were sooooooo much better than anything organized for girls. Or she is angry at the idea that boys like to hang out together without girls, just as girls sometimes like a break from boys–or should, lustful little hamsters that we are.

    When girls join boys’ teams and clubs, it means there ain’t no boys’ team or club no more. And I think boys should have the right to their own teams and clubs. End of.

    • Nice to see you here, Seraphic. I do miss the old crowd at times.

  • Anonymous

    The holy priests at my parish have started a boys club after school. Wednesday they all went to play laser tag. They also learn how to serve at the altar properly, they have snacks and read good books and do all sorts of things I’m not privy to, being a mom. I don’t even know the secret handshake.

    It is the most popular group anywhere around here, by far, and it combines boys from 3rd grade to high school in one group, so they interact and learn from one another. My son is in kindergarten, and he can’t wait to be old enough to join.

    Boys will be boys, and in this case, they will be HOLY boys.

    For grown men, we have Knights of Divine Mercy. They go to boot camp (spiritually) and are knighted after completing a course of spiritual study into virtue. They meet once a month to have talks by holy men, pray, confess, and do penance. And drink beer, or so I’m told. Once again, I don’t know the secret handshake, but I know my husband comes home fired up for Jesus and it has improved him as a role model for my son.

    Men are making a comeback around here, and I thank God for it daily.

    • I have often wished for local priests to do something similar following the example of one of my son’s favorite saints, Don Bosco.

      • Yinekka

        Perhaps the fear of being accused of sexual abuse decades down the track has inhibited most of the priests from starting anything involving minors.

  • Paige Deaner

    This is awesome. I went back and read your post on being a single mom, and having been raised by a single mom myself, I would say you are doing a great job. My mom showed me that she could be self-sufficient (in my case my father was completely absent- no split custody or weekends with him, etc.). She could do the little things around the house that needed doing, or she would hire someone to do it. Sometimes, when my grandfather would come and visit, he would fix some of the bigger things because she obviously worked hard for the money we had. Anyway, I’m sure you are a wonderful mom and your son will grow up to be a very loving husband and father because of the examples you are giving him now. And letting him be a boy is important.

  • Shaun W.

    There was a teacher at my high school(class of 07) who was a self proclaimed feminist (and the president of the local chapter of the NEA.) and she led the charge on multiple policy initiatives that, in retrospect, make perfect sense in light of this article…..

  • Lea

    Feminism in a nutshell:

  • Clayton Emmer

    Are you familiar with Fraternus? I recently came across their website and am impressed by the work they are doing. Their philosophy:

    “The youth of today need fathers. They need men who will step into their lives and lead them to the Truth we all long for. They need a few less interesting people in their lives, and one who is a little more interested. Youth ministry as we know it today is a response to the breakdown of the family, arguably the role of the father. However, rather than addressing symptoms, Fraternus deals with a root issue – fatherlessness. Fraternus equips and inspires men to do what only they can do – be spiritual fathers and mentors to the boys in their life. Every man has what it takes, but not every man had a True Mentor as a boy. This is where the Fraternus programming, training and support take a man who is willing, faithful and Catholic and form him into a True Mentor which in return causes an entire transformation in a family, community and the culture.”


    Testimonies from young men:

  • this just made me smile so much , thank god for parents like you we need to let boys embrace who they are , contrary to feminists wants being male is great , im proud of who i am I was brought up by a single mum who tried to drum it out of me but for a few years before his death i had my stepdad who taught me so much and 25 years on i still carry it with me and im blessed for that .

  • LAvenger

    It was a trans GIRL joining the girl scouts. Not a boy. The girl scouts say “Anyone who says they’re a girl, and whose family presents them as a girl, is welcome”.

    • The young child was born a boy. He is a biological boy therefore he is a boy. By the definition provided I can put a dress on a log and present it as a “girl” to join their organization.

      It’s nonsensical rubbish.

  • Patrick O’Rourke
  • Soldatdizzy


  • Nora

    You are soo right! About all of it! You may not be a father but you are one kick-ass mother! There is a great book out called The War on Boys and everyone in America should read it and take heed. Your boy is greatly blessed to have such a wise, not to mention funny, mother. Bless you for working to avail him of all of the manly pursuits and role models you can find.

  • GuestInAZ

    Backwards fool.