Happy Thanksgluttony…

Happy Thanksgluttony… November 21, 2011

…It’s that time of year when hell freezes over, commonly referred to around the US as Thanksgiving. It’s the one instance where I annually fire up the stove, assuming it still works, and attempt the domestic chore of cooking. It’s a fantastic undertaking, a wonder to behold, preparing the two culinary classics that are to be my contribution to the larger holiday feast; deviled eggs and banana pudding. I should start a cooking show to feature my cooking prowess.

Like any good Catholic preparing for a feast, fasting before hand is strongly encouraged. Personally, I switched to a liquid diet over the weekend and will follow the strict fast until Thursday. If you chose this method of piety, I recommend a strong thick dark stout beer with the quality of liquid bread for proper nourishment when fasting; although a special dispensation can be made for the lime wedge in a vodka tonic, or the olive in a Manhattan.

The above method is favored by the more traditional followers of the feast, where as many modern practitioners prefer a once a day meal binge. They feel this better reflects the truer nature of Thanksgiving and keeps with the original practice of the feast. They fast all day and then eat obscenely large portions of food at dinnertime. It can be argued that the truest and purest tradition is a large meal late in the afternoon followed by a period of contemplation on the living room sofa.

The two contradictory practices of feast preparation mentioned have been in heated debate for 40+ years, with a slow revival returning to the ancient tradition – started by a group of brewing monks- of only consuming fluids to prepare the digestive system for the bounty it will be consuming on the Feast of Thanks Giving.

If you've read this far, you're probably drunk.

How ever you decide to celebrate the up coming feast it is important to remember it’s a holiday celebrating family, food, and giving thanks to God for that family and food. It’s ok to be gluttonous once in awhile, indeed some situations call for gluttony; Thanksgiving being one of them. It’s one of the few times a year I get to eat my Abuelita’s cooking and my uncle’s fried turkeys. We eat like it’s the last time we will be together as a family, and it very well could be. We eat like we won’t be tasting Abuela’s fried plantains for the rest of year. So I eat in thanks giving for plantains and the Abuelita’s who cook them… sprinkled with powered sugar and cinnamon and drizzled with honey.

I like to think the gratitude expressed for my blessings is in direct correlation to how much I eat. In which case, I am supremely grateful and physically near to bursting.

So don’t let anyone sanctimoniously decry the gluttony of Thanksgiving and tell you it’s wrong to eat so much you begin to wish your home was equipped with a vomitorium. Eat up and have a Happy Thanksgluttony, y’all.

*This message is not endorsed by the Catholic Church or the American Medical Association.

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