ladies, learn from me…

… I have the strangest impulses when I get bored. I do things to my hair. It’s a neurotic compulsion I am weak to resist.

So naturally when I found myself with some free moments over the weekend I decided to try an at home recipe for shiny and smooth hair. Mayonnaise. Yes, you read that right. I put mayonnaise in my hair. Lots of it.

It took 9 washes to get it out and even then it left a terrible residue. So much so, that at a birthday party picnic the next day the flies wouldn’t leave me alone. I looked like Pig Pen with a swarm of gnats and flies following me every where. I think I heard my son tell some one he was an orphan.

Today I had to go to the DMV … and naturally my hair is still a slimy mess and this image is preserved, for the next eight years, on my driver’s license.

I still haven’t recovered from the time I went to get my passport … on Ash Wednesday. Use your imagination.