This my grandson, Jackson Bennett Holmes. I used to call him J.B., but now we call him Jack. It reminds me that there is this new thing going on where grandparents name themselves. For instance, our names are Mimi and Papa even though I dreamed about being called, “Grandpa.” Whatever happened to that and why didn’t I get consulted on this thing? Anyway, Jackson is staying over for a day or so and last night I got to sit with him... Read more
“Hello, I’m Karl and I’m an Evangelical Christian.” “Hi Karl.” Although I probably wouldn’t actually call myself a Christian, I think it is extremely important to realize that Evangelical Christianity is my root belief system that formed me from an earlier age. It is my framework for organizing my beliefs, it is the originating source of my worldview, and it is the backdrop of much of my trauma. I can’t just dismiss any of that and move on to something... Read more
We are currently on vacation in Nevarre, FL. Our online friends, Jason and Brandi Elam, live here and we desperately needed to get away this year. 2020 was a year of Covid and being confined to home. We really don’t mind being at home, we just had other aspirations of going to Taiwan and possibly having an adventure or two that didn’t materialize. One of the best things about traveling is the interesting people you meet. Laura and I... Read more
(an ode to the Elams) Laura and I don’t have many close friends. It’s our own fault, we are an interesting mixture of introvert and extrovert. We know what it’s like to have a good friend, but we also know what it is like when friends turn on you or abandon you. For the most part, many of us are self-centered and don’t take the the time to invest in close friendships. Ministry wasn’t designed for close friendships — it... Read more
Yesterday officially began our vacation when we flew out of Kansas City to meet some friends in sunny Florida, even though it turned out not to be sunny when we arrived. I’m up on the second day early listening to the rain outside. I know what you’re thinking, that doesn’t sound like the ideal vacation in Florida, but bear with me a little while as I attempt to explain the nature of adventures. I have been learning about adventures for... Read more
There is probably nothing that matters more to me than integrity. I have worked hard in my life to be more inclusive. I make space for LGBTQ+ people and try to be accepting and inclusive. I have learned about systemic racism and how to be anti-racist and not just “not racist.” Because of my grandson, I am learning about compassion and how to make time for those with differing capabilities. It’s not always easy to be inclusive and spend time... Read more
I’m starting my vacation today! It almost doesn’t seem real because I’ve been working 53 hours a week for almost 6 months. I don’t regret it. For the most part, I feel stronger and capable of more physical things. But, a part of me needs some time to recover. I have discovered that one of the most important things about working on an assembly line is to admit that there are parts of it that are painful. To deny that... Read more
I’m working on my next tattoo. A lot of people can’t believe I have even one tattoo, but the one I have is important to me! It looks like this, 真實 It is the traditional Mandarin characters for authentic. If you know anything about my new book Being: A Journey Toward Presence and Authenticity, there are two ideas that are very important to me: Being who we are (authenticity) and being where we are (presence). When I turned 50, and entered the... Read more
Some of you may not know that I was a former pastor for 20 years. Some of the pain I experienced was attached to organized religion and my experience as a pastor. Recently we have been noticing, maybe since 2020, a rash of suicides and people that are deeply troubled. Again many times it’s because of religion and spiritual bypassing and things that don’t really provide relief from the ways that we suffer. 3 years ago I experienced how this... Read more
Right now, I am sitting on our porch in rural Missouri. It took me a few years to appreciate it, but we finally got some good outdoor furniture and possibly, I have matured to the point that I can just BE without an agenda. This is my one day off during the week, so as soon as I could pour a cup of coffee and plug in the tablet, I was enjoying some stillness in my little sanctuary of sorts.... Read more
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