The Pangea Blog
On the night before our graduation, I was invited to give a reflection on my seminary experience. Here is what I said. I still can’t believe graduation is over!
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To the graduating class of 2012, along with the faculty and staff of Fresno Pacific Biblical seminary:
Thank you all for the humble opportunity to share with you today. This moment has been an “eventually” for so long, it’s hard to believe that graduation is now an “event.”
I would like to start by reflecting on both a low moment and a high moment in my seminary experience. 1st, the low moment.
On Tuesday afternoons, instead of commuting to Fresno from Visalia for a shortened class called “supervised ministry experience” (internship course), I was given permission to call in on my cell phone to participate in the discussions. This method works very well except when things at home go completely wrong.
Short version: her name is Mylee. Her weight: approximately 12 pounds. Her most rebellious tendency: digging out of our backyard into the neighbor’s yard. This exact thing happened during a phone session for class!
As you can imagine, I was a bit perplexed by the situation. Panicking and not sure what to do, I simply pressed the mute on my cell phone and put in my pocket. With my earpiece in place, I jumped on my skateboard (that I had not ridden in over 6 months) and sped around the block until I arrived at the house directly behind ours.
When I arrived at the house, without asking my neighbors, I went into their backyard and retrieved my dog. She was rebelling of course, perhaps we could say she was resisting arrest, but I eventually got the leash on her and ran back home with just enough time to catch my breath and comment on the next element of discussion. Thanks to the mute button, no one ever knew. This was certainly my low point and hopefully Terry (my professor), grades are already in.
And now, a high moment. The more I ponder how God has transformed my life during this portion of my spiritual journey, the more I realize that the high point was in fact the totality of the journey itself.
I’m still not sure how I ended up here. In fact, I think I was subject to some kind of trickery. All I remember is that after I graduated from my undergrad, the plan was to do an online hybrid program for seminary education.
One day after hearing Mark Baker talk about the multifaceted beauty of the cross of Christ at a Youth Pastors Network Meeting, I knew that I wanted to hear more. After talking with Andy Johnson and Mark for a few minutes about how I might take a single class to learn more about what had been a 20 minute session on the atonement, an email dialogue began.
Next thing I knew, I was dangled the proverbial carrot of a free class. Then, for some unknown reason, I added a second course to my load. And by the time Fall 2007 had arrived, I was officially a seminary student in Fresno and had given up all aspirations for joining that other program. Not only did I eventually take a class with Mark, but found that every professor had much to contribute to my intellectual, practical, and spiritual formation.
The past 5 years have been amazing. I’ve deconstructed some my biases about the Bible, history, theology, and ministry. Along the way, each professor made room for my questions, encouraged my research, and pushed me to become even more devoted to the way of Jesus. Through this process, a vision for the kingdom of God emerged in an exciting way.
Many of you have experienced this sort of renewal within your imaginations. Because of seminary we no longer see the world as we once did. This world is destructive and violent, and yet, it’s a world that God is redeeming and will one day restore in the renewed creation. As we look to that vision of the universe as it ought to be (heaven and earth made one under the lordship of Christ), seminarians often idealize their role in God’s Kingdom purposes.
These kingdoms shaped dreams that evoke a better world are the “eventuallys,” born in partnership with the Holy Spirit within the depths of our imaginations. Many (not all) of these ideals were deferred for a future date: after our final papers were turned in. Well friends, I hate to say it but that day has indeed passed.
That is not to say that we turn off our imaginative capacities, now that we aren’t “forced” to read thousands of pages each semester. We must be compelled to continue in the work of dreaming of the ways in which to bring “… Thy kingdom, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” Discerning “eventuallys” should only stop on the day that we die.
The sort of “eventuallys” we look towards as a result of seminary may include:
- Eventually we’ll stand up for peace in a world filled with violence.
- Eventually we’ll count the cost of living self-sacrificial lives of obedience to Jesus.
- Eventually we’ll lead communities of faith that show the rest of our culture what it looks like to truly be good news to the poor.
- Eventually we’ll make time for a workout plan that’s been on the backburner since we enrolled in Church and God’s Mission (our first course).
- Eventually we’ll experience a fresh movement of the Holy Spirit that looks a lot like we see the early church experiencing. We won’t just read about it in Scripture or textbooks, but will live into it.
- Eventually we’ll put what we learned in seminary into practice.
Eventually, eventually, eventually.
If we are honest, glimpses of eventually have already come to pass in small ways during our time here. Because, integrated into each of our programs is an opportunity to engage practically, and not merely to fill our brains full of inapplicable jargon.
It’s interesting that “Eventually” starts with a smaller word “Event.”
An Event is something that is happening in the present or has already happened in the past. An Event is an actualized moment in history. My struggle is that often I like to turn potential “Events” into “Eventuallys” by delegating what could be a reality today, to some distant future. At the same time there is something amazing about dreaming of Eventuallys. Without an imagination for Eventuallys we might never actualize Kingdom-of-God-sized Events.
Both matter. Eventuallys and Events. We won’t arrive at an Eventually if we fail to engage in Events. We only engage in meaningful Events if our vision for Eventuallys continues to press us forward. How we envision the future determines our potential present.
Fresno Pacific Biblical seminary has prepared each one of us in our respected areas for eventuallys to become events and for events to lead to eventuallys. Through our time together over these past few years God has shaped us into readily prepared: counselors, pastors, missionaries, and kingdom entrepreneurs.
May we, formed by the Holy Spirit and guided by a vision of God’s future world, come to see that the eventuallys of seminary can come to pass through concrete events. May we take what we have learned about Scripture and humanity and embody it every single day in the communities that God calls us to serve. And may we, summoned by the resurrected Jesus, show our culture various signposts of the ultimate eventually – a world where there is “no more death or mourning or crying or pain.” All of this by living in light of what we learned in seminary, each day, through concrete restorative events.
Sincerely,
A Fellow Graduate
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