December 24, 2019

A transsexual friend asked me, “Will they love me when she’s gone? Will all the hugs, the smiles, the tears, the shared embraces, the mutual care, burn away like fog? Was all they loved who they thought I was? Am I more than my birth name, my assigned gender, the mask I wore to appease the voices in my head that tell me I’m a monster and always will be?” He broke down then, weeping into his hands, “What if… Read more

December 13, 2019

  Social media is at its best a helpful tool and at its worst a cesspool of all that’s wrong with the world. And, between those two extremes, it is a way to gauge human inconsistencies and ironies.  Such was the case yesterday, December 12th, the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe.  While I feel uncomfortable and awkward sharing my political opinions online, others don’t have this problem. So I was surprised when Catholics who normally post positively about the… Read more

December 12, 2019

  Content warning: discussion includes domestic violence, PTSD, gun violence, and stalking. . . . . My friend and fellow Patheos Catholic columnist Kristy Burmeister wrote a piece this week about when Christmas is a trigger for trauma survivors.  As always, her piece was powerful and I really appreciated it. I never saw Christmas as a trauma trigger for myself, but when I remember how deeply suicidal I felt last Christmas when I was in Spain, and then look at… Read more

November 22, 2019

  ***Content Warning: Child Loss***   This spring, I spent way too much time with most of my family, all of us huddled together between churches and funeral homes, helping plan funerals and memorials. I am not surprised that we had family drama. I would have been more surprised if we hadn’t.  But one of the moments that surprised and hurt the most came when we were writing an obituary. The funeral home director paused, reading through the list of… Read more

November 11, 2019

Two days ago I celebrated my 25th birthday. To mark this important milestone, I finally got my first ever tattoo. I call it the Crone Tree. I love the wisdom in its twisted bark. I want to discuss with you tattoos and their significance. Mine has a lot, and I always love tattoos more when there are stories and symbolism behind them. So, for me, I started wanting to get a tattoo a few years ago.  So, before I explain… Read more

November 9, 2019

   Back in 2014 when artist Kesha Rose Serbert (known as Kesha)  entered rehab, I wanted to let her know that I was praying and rooting for her, so I wrote her a letter.  In the letter, I quoted Bob Dylan (she’s a major fan of his), told her that things were going to get better, and ended by telling her that she needed to live in the light. Did she receive my letter? I don’t know; I like to… Read more

October 18, 2019

A few months ago (perhaps in July) I stumbled upon a reflection on God as mother. It was powerful, moving, compelling. It spoke of the divine feminine and it was truly gorgeous. It made me want to believe in God again in a way not much has this past year. I shared the reflection into a facebook group a good friend of mine created to share artwork that moves us. This piece had moved me, and I knew the members… Read more

July 21, 2019

It is the apparently tenuous question so much of the debate with the sex abuse scandals surrounds: Do victims matter? I was just informed by the host of a popular podcast for Catholic women that we in fact don’t; at least, we don’t when it’s uncomfortable and inconvenient for other Catholics. I have followed this podcast for at least a year and was a subscriber on its email list. Yesterday morning, an email in my inbox from the podcast described… Read more

July 9, 2019

I don’t usually write when I’m this angry. Healthy ways of dealing with anger is something I’m working on in therapy. But you know what? I don’t give a flying fuck right now because if I don’t write this down now, I’m going to be raging the rest of the day. Not good for my home life and not good for my blood pressure. Oh, and if you didn’t realize that fucks fly, you’re probably too sensitive for this article…. Read more

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