September 2, 2019

One of the things I’m most grateful for, especially when life hits me low, is that quiet moment in the evening when I’ve found the perfect playlist, the characters in my novel are not only speaking to me, they’re dancing before me their wild dance of fiction and interaction and drama, and I forget myself in writing what they’re feeling. I lose sight of the world that overwhelms me—all the troubles I have absolutely no control over—and I remember what… Read more

August 25, 2019

My last blast from the past from my old blog, Into the Mysterious Dark. You can read the original here.    To briefly summarize my life to this point: In the past four years I have been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, and am unable to eat gluten, dairy, or eggs because of dietary restrictions and allergic reactions. As a result of these constraints on my daily life, I wound up losing upwards of 40 pounds (for the sake of… Read more

August 25, 2019

This is another piece from my old blog, Into the Mysterious Dark. You can read the original here.    Here you have it–a list of what not to do when someone confesses body image issues.   1.) Don’t gasp, shout, wail, or sob. Be extremely sensitive of how you react to someone vulnerable enough with you to tell you about their body image issues. The smallest overt reaction of any kind, be it horror, shock, or dismay, will come across… Read more

August 23, 2019

This was first published on my old blog, Into the Mysterious Dark. You can read the original piece here.   There is more than enough banter online, in supposedly Christian circles, debating the topic of purity, sexuality, and chastity—that ever-elusive rabbit everyone is so ready to define but so few actually know. But what about for those whose choice didn’t matter? Who didn’t give into illustrious passions painted in brilliantly forbidden colors of stark and poignant reality? Ready to condemn for… Read more

August 5, 2019

For years, I just thought I had something akin to ADHD. I could not focus on one thing for long to save my life. It was like that for years (and still is; I have two other pages open on my browser that I’ve switched to multiple times while writing this). I would bounce from my laptop, to my tv, to my phone, to the nearest book, to the music on my headphones in a matter of minutes. When I… Read more

August 4, 2019

There have been two mass shootings in the US in the past 24 hours. When speaking to my mom about the state of our country, her automatic response was, “Satan is at work, let me tell you.” A constant theme droned out on the loudspeakers of victim blamers, white supremacists, and the like, is, “Take responsibility for your actions!” Okay, I’ll bite. Let’s apply this precept to everything, shall we? Even to the horrific, nightmarish refuse of Hell that the… Read more

August 3, 2019

  The following is an excerpt from a journal entry I wrote. Rereading it, I realized how much of the fear of falling in love could apply to most endeavors in life, and the attempt in overcoming that fear to get to the other side. It is self-indulgent, and terribly vulnerable, but here it is all the same.    I don’t want to hope that you love me as much as I love you, because it hurts too much. The… Read more

July 27, 2019

The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank was, next to Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings, the most influential book I read in my turbulent adolescent years. Without pause, I can say that I’d never felt so understood by someone; that my feelings of otherness, of difference, of terror and excitement at the world around me were truly acknowledged by her stark vulnerability. But then I learned how she died, and it haunted me. And still does. I… Read more

July 21, 2019

It is the apparently tenuous question so much of the debate with the sex abuse scandals surrounds: Do victims matter? I was just informed by the host of a popular podcast for Catholic women that we in fact don’t; at least, we don’t when it’s uncomfortable and inconvenient for other Catholics. I have followed this podcast for at least a year and was a subscriber on its email list. Yesterday morning, an email in my inbox from the podcast described… Read more

July 14, 2019

She was ripped from her bed, bruised and torn and bleeding from where they’d smacked her, where the rocks had struck her, where her arms had been pinned down by the other half of her sin. Her diversion from grace and from truth was capitalized by the fact that she was completely bare before the alternately disgusted and leering eyes of the men in the crowd. The women were silent, watching her with knowing eyes and knowing pain, well aware… Read more

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