Six Reasons We Always Break A New Year Resolution

Let our major New Year resolution be to look for the sacred in everything, even the flaws we think we have that need to be “corrected.” Our flaws could be someone else’s blessings.

We are now in the early days of 2024. As do many with the calendar change, I have both looked back and looked forward. I cleaned out files, drawers, and closets in preparation. These activities also clear my mind and soul.

The idea of a clean slate intrigues many of us. It is for this reason we are often charmed by the sight of freshly fallen snow. The whiteness, the neatness, the quietness surrounding the sight and experience draw us in.

The problem, obviously, lies in the fact that the snow covers up, temporarily of course, the mess underneath. The snowmelt will soon uncover it–and cause an additional mess of its own in the process.

A similar process happens when we make a New Year resolution: It offers a temporary cover that hides the real issues. Nonetheless, those same issues will always surface.

There is one thing we may state with absolute certainty: neither snow nor resolutions can fix what is underneath them.

And neither of them last.

What is beneath the snow of the New Year resolution?

Number One: Refusing to be thankful for who we are at this given moment.

Almost by definition, a resolution indicates we are unhappy with ourselves. Unhappiness, of course, can be a tremendous motivator. However, a lack of appreciation for what we’ve already managed to do breeds ungratefulness and negativity.

Instead,  we can embrace gratefulness, thanking God and our minds, bodies, and souls for being exactly who we are at this given moment. Let us let go of any resentments we hold against ourselves and enjoy the fresh air of freedom blowing in.

Number Two: Permitting others to make our important life choices.

Too often the phrase seeps into our words and thoughts, “I can’t do that or change this because [so-and-so] will be unhappy in some way with me or not respond the way I want them to.”

Such thoughts lead to stuckness and an inability to think creatively about new options. As long as our choices are made with integrity springing from well-formed characters, how others may react is pretty well irrelevant.

Number Three: Not having that well-formed character as a foundation for our lives.

Remember that snow covering up all the mess underneath and how it can, temporarily, make everything beautiful? Remember, that which is underneath will always be revealed.

Unless we make conscious decisions based on a life resting on a solid rock of integrity, knowing who we are and why we choose to do what we do, no resolution in the world will ever work. It’s like putting a fresh coat of paint over sheetrock riddled with mold. The mold is going to win.

Number Four: an inability to give without strings attached.

Do you enjoy receiving a gift knowing that the giver now believes you must repay a debt that could be called at any time? Most of us build deep resentments over that kind of gift-giving pattern.

But a good and healthy New Year resolution is a gift to ourselves and should be received as one–without the strings.

For example, a common resolution involves exercising more and thus gaining strength, building muscles and finding that clothes fit better. But what if our bodies, long accustomed to a less challenging life where physical fitness is concerned, react by soreness, inflammation, and resistance to our efforts?

Well, we can choose unhappiness because our physical selves didn’t respond to the gift the way we wanted it to. That would be a gift with strings attached.

OR, we can recognize that we are giving our bodies the gift of exercise no matter the response simply because it is the right thing to do.

Number Five: Relinquish the idea that security may be found in any self-improvement project.

It helps to ask: when is the pursuit of security a legitimate human goal? Keep in mind that nothing in this world is secure in the sense that it is unchanging and will ultimately keep us safe. Life, while certainly having great moments of joy and delight, is also scary and dangerous and ever-shifting.

As we learn to hold everything loosely, we become interestingly aware that even in the process of holding something or practicing a new habit, we change everything around us. No change happens in isolation–and that includes the changes made by others. Learn to go with the flow.

Number Six: Quit insisting that we occupy the center of the universe and that God stands ready to do our bidding.

Neither you nor I am not the center of anyone’s universe and God is not our celestial vending machine. Those attitudes are appropriate only for the tiniest of babies, not for mature adults.

When we demand others, or our bodies/our families/our finances/the larger world to bend and/or break so we can continue our particular New Year self-improvement projects, we may be sure failure is right around the corner.

Instead, embrace the mystery of life itself with all the challenges it tosses our way. Grow in your awareness of how infinitesimally small each of us is in the vastness of the world. Embrace healthy humility–and the sense of humor that comes with it.

So, my final suggestion for a doable New Year Resolution:

Let’s look for the sacred in everything, even the flaws we think we have that need to be “corrected.” That is one we can keep.