Life can always be better. It could always be worse. At least that’s what I think. How do we approach life in view of these scenarios? One of the keys to living well and remaining sane amid trials and tribulations is remaining grateful for life and being thankful for any signs of goodness amid the struggles. That’s what this post is all about. As the classic saying and song go, always look on the bright side of life. It’s good for holistic health.
I tested COVID positive early last week. That was a big negative in many ways, especially because I must stay away from visiting my son Christopher a total of ten days at his care facility. Still, I am glad I was able to get tested so quickly and that as far as I can tell, I did not expose anyone else.
I’ve been living in solitary confinement for a week now. Even my dog wouldn’t visit me in my self-contained quarters the first few days. That was unreal. Part of his morning ritual for years has been to scratch the door to my study area, wait for me to open the door, insist that I pet him for a few minutes, and then perch himself on a couch to look out the window. That did not happen earlier this week. He stayed away for days. Only Friday morning did my dog return to see me in my digs.
I informed a doctor on a Zoom call later that morning it appeared that my furry little four-legged friend knew I was not quite right. The doctor concurred that dogs are very sensitive to COVID’s presence. In fact, studies show that dogs appear to detect COVID with phenomenal accuracy. I know of at least one study analyzing trained COVID detection dogs as a possible alternative to rapid antigen tests for needed quick results involving mass screening. This revelation adds new meaning to the initialism CDC—Canines for Disease Control.
It’s been nearly 28 months since my adult son Christopher endured a catastrophic brain injury. And although life has turned upside down and stayed down in many ways, new beginnings and possibilities have grown up and sprouted from the ashes. Growth in grittiness and resilience is nothing to sneeze about, even with COVID. Similarly, the empathic and skillful care and compassionate sacrifice of others is worthy of great gratitude in response. I keep writing to account for all that we are experiencing. I am thankful I can even write amid the pain. It helps me seek clarity, comfort, and a sense of equilibrium, while keeping people up to date on Christopher.
My wife and I see subtle signs from time to time that a deep, slow healing is going on inside Christopher’s being. The night before I tested positive for COVID, I was struck by the long look of deep appreciation and admiration Christopher gave his CNA. I was equally moved by her empathic countenance toward him. There was a bond between them, which I was privileged to witness.
A little later, as I was working to organize his belongings, I turned to look at him. I did a double take in amazement. Christopher was gazing at me. The look was that of hyper-consciousness. His gaze penetrated my soul. Moreover, our medical consultant, Dr. Potter, has been amazed, impressed by how Christopher has been largely free of the health complications all-too-often associated with those in similar bed-ridden situations. We are thankful for all the positive signs of slow, often subtle growth and homeostasis.
Of course, I could easily focus on what is missing. I am not going to ignore or discount the very deep suffering and loss. But I dare not fixate on it. It would become detrimental to others and me, even toxic.
Speaking of detriment and toxicity, I could easily forget to thank God for the minimal negative reaction in my system for testing positive to COVID. No doubt, a variety of factors have served me well, including COVID shots and having no pre-existing conditions.
Sure, I have a non-contagious COVID rash presently, but is likely associated with the post-peak phase of the virus. It should soon dissipate. The doctor was not concerned during the Zoom appointment.
When COVID and this rash completely vanish from my system, may I not be like those thankless ex-lepers in the gospels, or the ex-leper in Monty Python’s Life of Brian, who was most ungrateful for Jesus having healed him of leprosy! Check out that classic scene here. While you’re at it, you might consider watching this very controversial scene in which the song “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” is sung at Jesus’ neighbor Brian’s crucifixion in this comedy. As the songwriter Eric Idle of Monty Python made clear, the song and scene is not making fun of Jesus; nor is the film. Known for their sacrilegious and anti-organized religious tenor, it is worth noting what Idle said about Jesus and the Sermon on the Mount,
Mocking Jesus himself, the Pythons agreed, was right out. “Very quickly [we realized] you couldn’t really laugh at Jesus Christ and the Sermon on the Mount,” Idle said. “It’s all very good stuff; nothing to laugh at there. It would have to be a surrogate…. Bit by bit we came up with the idea of the tragedy, which is what it essentially is: to be mistaken for a messiah, and the more you deny it, the more people are convinced you must be the real thing.”
Just as Monty Python claimed not to be making fun of Jesus, I am not trying to make fun or make light of suffering or discount the reality of tragedy in life. Rather, I do not want suffering and tragedy to have the last word. Life has the last word, as do gratitude and thankfulness, in the Christian story. If that is true, then it would make sense from a Christian perspective that gratitude and thankfulness must prove beneficial to holistic health.
Gratitude and thankfulness are in fact beneficial to relational health with God and others, as well as our physical and mental wellbeing. If you won’t take my word for it based on experience, then I encourage you to read this interview with Dr. Gail Saltz, psychoanalyst and assistant attending physician at NewYork-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center and clinical associate professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medicine.
I am thankful that I have the freedom to choose between being thankful amid very trying circumstances and being thankless and becoming bitter. I will choose the former. Why? The latter is not a good alternative. That will only make things worse. And as my pastoral counselor, Tom Schiave says, always think: “Get better, not bitter.” Have you ever met a bitter old man, or begrudging “ex-leper,” as in Monty Python’s Life of Brian, who wishes “do-gooder” Jesus would have left him alone, or had done something different than heal him completely?
This scene called to my mind the account in Luke’s gospel where Jesus heals ten lepers, but only one returns to thank him. The text points out that he was a Samaritan. Perhaps this “foreigner” already had a sense that he was undeserving of Jesus’ grace. Perhaps the others suffered from an even more self-isolating and deadly disease than leprosy, namely, an attitude of entitlement. Not so this “ex-leper” Samaritan:
Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!” When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed. One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.” (Luke 17:11-19; NIV)
The ex-leper Samaritan could have gone on his merry way and not return to give thanks to Jesus. Or he could have sulked over all those ‘lost years’ from having suffered from leprosy. Or perhaps like the ex-leper in Life of Brian, he could have been upset after the fact that “do-gooder” Jesus took away his former trade of being a leper. For those who are thankless, the list goes on and on.
Similarly, for those who are thankful, like this grateful Samaritan “ex-leper,” the list of being thankful for people and experiences and possibilities goes on and on. In fact, one can make a creative exercise of giving thanks. It can actually become contagious when one makes it their ambition to always look on the bright side of life.
In closing, let’s return to the film, Life of Brian, and Monty Python’s most famous song, “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.” Fittingly or unfittingly, the song makes its audition during Brian’s crucifixion scene at the film’s close. How can I as a Christian find hope in that song given its placement in a crucifixion scene in a seemingly sacrilegious comedy?
In response, it is worth noting that not every Christian saw the film or the closing scene as unworthy of consideration. In fact, there are constructive comparisons to make between the film and the gospels. For example, Cambridge New Testament scholar, Prof. Morna Hooker, wrote about the film. Here’s what she claims about the closing scene and the song, “Always Look On the Bright Side of Life”:
The Life of Brian seems, in fact, to stop before it gets to the end of the story – which is presumably our ‘hero’s’ death. The film ends with the chorus of the crucified, and so leaves us wondering why we should look on the bright side of life. What reason has been given for this optimism? None at all. Brian’s story, a story of mistakes and absurdities from beginning to end, has ended in total failure. But it reminds us that in that other, parallel story – the life of Jesus – which seemed to many to have ended in total failure. In that story, however, the scene of Jesus’ death is not the end, but leads to glory and triumph, and the bright side of life proves to be victory and resurrection.
As Prof. Hooker points out, the Christian story does not end in death. It ends in Jesus’ triumph over death, the victory of his resurrection.
With the New Testament gospels firmly in mind, in view of Jesus, I do not look at my son’s TBI, no matter how traumatic, as the end, but as a new beginning, one in which the Easter Jesus infuses my son’s life story and my own with new meaning. It is a very Christian thing, not to discount sin, suffering, and evil. It is also a very Christian thing not to allow tragedy to have the last word either, for it gives rise to the triumph of the resurrection. And so I say in closing, always look on the bright side of life.
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