We’d all love fear to be as playful as it is on Halloween. Of course, it isn’t. Our society has this strange obsession with fear. Horror movies, Stephen King, Halloween itself. There is something intriguing about the experience of fright. We are drawn to it in very small doses, portions in which our safety is firmly established – roller coaster rides, haunted houses, Wes Craven films from our couch. When our safety comes into question, it is not so fun... Read more
I never loved the phrase “take your medicine”. We saw it in a movie recently where a character was suggesting the group had to come face-to-face with an adversary that had just beat them. As a kid, like many kids, “medicine” had an extremely negative connotation. I can still taste the aftereffects of grape Dimetapp whenever I hear the word “medicine” said out loud. The pop culture colloquialism “take your medicine” basically means “face your consequences”. And it is something... Read more
A few days ago, I was at a bookstore browsing titles having to do with business success. They reminded me of cheesy infomercials. All promising to have the key to success. From business to sports to relationships, we are obsessed with the idea that we can predict or control the future. One of my movie pet peeves is when love interests say to one another, “I’ll never hurt you”. It makes me want to yell at the screen, “Yes you will! You’ll... Read more
A decision has been made. You reached a crossroad and selected a choice. You have continued along your journey down the path selected. You make about forty thousand decisions a day. And as we have said here before, every decision is a crossroad. We tend to focus on the “bigger” ones – a career change, a move, any significant adjustment to relationship status. Even those are not as rare as we pretend they are. When we approach one of these... Read more
We all want to be better. The human experience is a minefield of wrought emotions and challenging circumstances. We struggle each day to know ourselves, to pursue the truth, and to behave in an honorable way. We want to perceive better, to manage our emotions, and to make decisions that help us live a more meaningful life. But change is hard. We are the way we are because of a large mass of past experience, influence, and bias. None of... Read more
We wake up every morning and open our groggy eyes. Slowly and sometimes with the aid of coffee, our brains turn on and we start to see and perceive the world around us. It seems so straightforward. So simple. We look. Our brains process. We internalize and react. So, how is it so many people can look at the same thing but internalize very different realities? The truth is, seeing things for what they are is much more challenging, illusive,... Read more
If there is one thing that defines the state of American society today, it is anger. Everyone is mad. We are angry about the past, about our imagined future, and about the current events of today. We feel under threat, unsafe, and unheard. All of us. In our anger, we are losing touch with reality. We are losing our ability to rightly condemn and to forgive. To listen to and care for one another. All of us. We are sinking... Read more
What are you doing today? Why? What is the purpose of your day? What do you hope to accomplish out of life and how is this day contributing to that agenda? Vision is a powerful motivator in our lives. It drives us to act. It gives us a sense of camaraderie with the people who share our vision. It gives us a feeling of purpose, adding meaning to our lives. If you think about the job, relationship, or hobby you... Read more
When I think about what derails my life, what causes me unnecessary pain, and what generally makes a mess of things, it comes down to one simple mindset. One question that boils just under my skin. It drives my behavior and informs my perspective. The question is this: how much can I get away with? And it might seem banal. It might seem relatively innocent, even helpful at times. But I have discovered it is rooted in a lot of... Read more
Relationships are challenging. Just navigating the everyday minefield of expectations, little annoyance and grievances, and different ways of approaching life can cause significant strain on a relationship. And then, sometimes, tragedy strikes and makes the everyday pain seem small and insignificant. Relationships slingshot from challenging to critical pretty quickly. The world is spinning and everyone is just trying to get their feet on the ground. Binding Agent Both the massive tragedies and the everyday pains of relationships can bind... Read more
Victorious Living
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