There is a consistent lie swirling through human culture. We have internalized it; believed it hook, line, and sinker. The lie is that things ought to be easy. If it is difficult, it is wrong. Challenge is a problem that needs to be fixed. Struggle is an evil that needs to be eradicated. Success is a lack of despair. It is hard to believe, but every human endeavor follows the same shape. The Project Mood Curve. We start out with high, hopeful expectations.... Read more
We have a difficult time with out emotions. How much should we express them? When? Some families grow up strictly repressing emotions, discouraging any “unseemly” displays. Others seem to thrive on emotions, encouraging one another to worship how one feels, following its beck and call. In other words, we mess up on both ends of the spectrum. Emotions are not a bad thing. They are, generally, neutral – at least when it comes to value. What makes an emotion valuable... Read more
Martin Luther King Jr. is a celebrated American hero. In his fight for equality, he said nothing more well remembered than the line “I have a Dream” from the speech he uttered in 1963 during The March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom. Too often, we consider our dreams to be the work of fantasy. But there are two kinds of dreams. The first is what a friend from South Africa calls “thumb-sucking” dreams, where we just sit around and... Read more
All of life is about choice. We cannot control all of the consequences of our decisions and we cannot control the choices of others. We often put too much pressure on our choices. And we, somehow, also put too little on them as well. We mess up on both ends. Intrinsically, we need at least two options to be faced with a choice. Sometimes the decision between two things is easy. If I have to decide between going to a... Read more
There is perhaps no greater tragedy in today’s world than the loss of truth. We have made reality a relative, subjective experience. Now, we do not discover truth. We get to choose what it is. If we don’t like something, we simply discard it as false. The trouble with the whole idea that “perception is reality” is that it is wrong. We’ve allowed our biases, our narratives, and our predispositions to color the way we view the world. And rather... Read more
We are a problem-seeking people. From the time we are young, our parents tell us what not to do. At school, there are math problems we are meant to solve. And as adults, there are problems everywhere. We have trained ourselves to see and solve problems. We wake up considering the problems of the day. When we celebrate, it is because a problem was solved. The problem (forgive me) with all this problem solving is that it is a carousel.... Read more
At least once a week, I wake up and don’t want to go to whatever it is I have to do that day. When I was younger, it made a lot of sense – the thing I had to go to was class or a job I hated. But now that I am doing something I love, the feeling is still there. What is happening is a dichotomy of purpose. On the one hand, I want life to be easy,... Read more
All of us have dreams. There are things we want to do, opportunities we want to take advantage of. Certain aspects of human living make us feel most alive. And part of the human journey is naming and intentionally making space for those kinds of activities. Too often, our dreams get lost in the demands of day-to-day living. We might spend a day thinking about them or a retreat planning things out. But life seems to get in the way.... Read more
As soon as Christmas is over, we start looking toward New Years. A new start. A beginning. This is indicative of the way we live our everyday lives. We often say things (and much more often think things) like, “just six more weeks until our trip”, “the weekend is just around the corner”, etc. We are constantly measuring our lives by the reprieve, and perceived fresh start, just around the corner. The Trouble With Newness The problem with newness... Read more
I am a hard person to buy presents for. Always have been. I’m not much of a “stuff” guy. I don’t want a lot of stuff. For a long time, this truth ran contrary to my deep desire to have more. Lots and lots of… I don’t even know what. I just wanted things. I wanted people to give me things. All of this was the perfect storm for a disappointing Christmas. Year after year, my expectations would rise. Maybe... Read more
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