Nine Ways Your Pastor Can Help You Plan for a Funeral

August 31, 2015 By Frederick Schmidt

In recent years churches have made a greater effort to prepare members of their congregations for death. But much of that conversation is still squarely focused on advanced directives and clergy often delegate that responsibility to people who know more about the attendant legal complexities. That, no doubt, is an appropriate choice. Churches and clergy pay less attention to the funeral arrangements themselves. Having been through that process with members of our family and with parishioners, my wife and I... Read more

Seven Things the Holy Spirit Might Be Trying to Tell You

August 26, 2015 By Frederick Schmidt

For many of us it can be hard to believe that the Holy Spirit speaks in a way that is real or helpful. That struggle can be traced to a number of factors: We live in a culture that doesn’t expect God to “show up.” When we do talk about the work of the Holy Spirit, we use rarified, impenetrable, stained-glass language. And most of what we expect to hear in listening to the Spirit is couched in such pious... Read more

12 Questions Leaders Need to Ask Themselves

August 4, 2015 By Frederick Schmidt

Religious leaders cannot control what everyone in their circle chooses to do. That kind of control has never been possible and the challenge is even greater today. The hallmark of contemporary life is the flight from accountability. Rugged individualism has become petulant self-indulgence, hiding behind the guise of “my rights.” The priesthood of all believers has degenerated into “every person a god,” “each person’s private convictions a religion.” But we can shape the ecclesiastical culture in which we work. We... Read more

15 Words and Phrases that Deserve to Die

July 14, 2015 By Frederick Schmidt

“What did you say?” With spring cleaning behind us, it’s time to reexamine the language we use and the real meaning of some of the expressions that have found their way into our vocabulary. Here are 15 words and phrases that deserve to die. Feel free to add your own nominees in the comments selection below and strike a blow for cleaner, direct communication! “In my humble opinion” (IMHO) I am about to say something that I don’t... Read more

12 Things Clergy Spouses Want You to Know

July 6, 2015 By Frederick Schmidt

I’m an Episcopal priest and my wife is a “parish” priest, which means that her “day job” — if there were such a thing in a church (not) — is shaped by the rhythm and demand of caring for the spiritual needs of a congregation. So, I have experience as a clergy person and as the spouse of a clergy person. The spouses don’t often get a chance to tell their own story, but if they could, here are twelve things... Read more

7 Reasons Why the Church Should Learn to Disagree

June 15, 2015 By Frederick Schmidt

According to experts great and small, we’ve lost our ability to disagree. Rather than discuss our differences and stay in conversation with one another, we go on the attack. We belittle, judge, and demonize one another. And, when all else fails, we walk away. That’s a loss, not just because we are divided into ever smaller tribes of what we imagine are like-minded groups of people, but because there are important reasons to learn how to disagree. What should be... Read more

6 things people need to hear from churches (but are rarely said)

June 8, 2015 By Frederick Schmidt

The recent Pew study on the grown of “Nones” and the “Spiritual But Not Religious” has roiled the church. But we really shouldn’t be surprised. We’ve known for a long time now that the apparent “churchiness” of the fifties and sixties was an exception, not the rule. Frankly, I’m not convinced that the statistics charted by Pew are even “a trend.” It could be argued that Americans are just getting honest about how disenchanted they are with church. Trend or... Read more

What do you do with doubt?

June 1, 2015 By Frederick Schmidt

What do you do with doubt? The answers to that question are as varied as the history of doubt itself. Some people celebrate the contribution that doubt makes and consider it the hallmark of intellectual maturity. Halfway through a hefty volume on the history of doubt, Jennifer Hecht cites an old Zen maxim: “Great Doubt: great awakening. Little Doubt: little awakening. No Doubt: no awakening.” On that reading of things, doubt is the engine of enlightenment and insight. At the... Read more

10 things your clergy should tell you before you get married

May 18, 2015 By Frederick Schmidt

Behind closed doors clergy often ruefully observe that they would rather officiate at a funeral than preside at a wedding. That sounds harsh, but I’m convinced that it’s because most of us watch in frustration as weddings, as well as marriages, get off on the wrong foot. Here’s what your clergy wants you to know: 1. Don’t wait for the movie. Save the moment. Snap the pictures. But remember: there’s no substitute for being in the moment…making vows, exchanging rings,... Read more

12 Things that your Pastor, Priest, or Minister Wishes You Knew

May 12, 2015 By Frederick Schmidt

“Church Pew with Worshippers” | Vincent van Gogh | 1882 1. YOU are a source of encouragement to us. All too often the people in our pews imagine that clergy are islands of devotion – except, of course, when we fail spectacularly and publicly. We aren’t. Like everyone else we draw encouragement from others who are faithful and courageous. You shouldn’t be that way for our sake, of course, but don’t forget, there are days when we draw renewed... Read more