Finding Your Tribe

I’m often asked about finding a tribe.  “How do you do it?” “I’m an introvert, but I crave community.” “How do you meet people?” As an ambivert myself (I am social, but I crave solitude), I do have a few tips that I have shared with others. One thing to keep in mind is that no matter how much we prefer our solitude, we all crave community. I’ve done workshops on building community, and that longing is always present underneath our conversations.

How then, do you find your tribe? Do they magically appear?  Sure, they do. Oh, you mean the human ones. My first tip is to embrace your deity or deities. Mine are a cozy bunch that I contact for different needs or events. Sometimes, we all work together, sometimes we break off into pairs. Or I focus just on one and honor them.  In working with mine, I never feel alone. They are there when I need them, and even when not, I make a point to check in with them daily. I usually begin with gratitude, then I check in with them with how this earthly toil is going, then I try and puzzle out what’s bothering me (if anything) and ask for their help. I feel protected with them, and that guides me through the day, and is an important part of my spiritual journey. It’s my foundation.  Try this if you have not done so yet, and see if it makes a difference in how you see the world.  This can lead to socializing with others, which can be part of your tribe.

Secondly, find your tribe online. We are a nation of introverts, and we spend lots of time online. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you find balance. I love being online because it affords me my very favorite thing to do: research. I love to look up things. Events, history, gatherings, you name it.  You can view it all from the safety of your home, and you get to decide which events you would like to attend. I have met lovely people from Ren Faires, festivals, workshops, conferences, store events, you name it. Try one and see how you like it.  Add more when you feel comfortable, and your calendar will start filling up.

Third, I always suggest the delightful app called Meetup. When I moved to Asheville a few years ago, I discovered this app, and had some great experiences with events.  Some were not so great, but that’s life. I have advised other people new to their area to do so, and they had wonderful results. There can be so much happening in your own backyard, and you may not even realize it. There are also so many categories to explore. Want to meet other herbalists? Find people with the same breed of dog as yours? A film society? A group to practice Reiki? All that and more is a few clicks away.

Fourth, find your local metaphysical, old age, esoteric witch shop. You may not have one nearby, or you may not be aware it exists. I am lucky enough to work in such a place, and if I had a dollar for every person who says, “I never knew this was here!”, I would be rich indeed. Seek one out, plan a day trip, and definitely research this. Not only can you find the tools you need for ritual, but you can also meet people, find out about local groups, events and gatherings.

Finally, do the things you LOVE. Be you, and embrace it. If you love to hike or garden, do that. If you want to sit in coffee shops and write, do that. You will meet people just by being happy doing what makes you happy. All of us, no matter how busy we are, have time to pursue interests we love. Some of them can be solitary, and some not. You’d be surprised by a conversation you can have while walking in a botanical garden. I met one person who admired my hiking boots, and we have become firm friends, definitely part of my tribe.

Above all, be clear about what you want. Don’t try to find your tribe if you feel like you HAVE to. You don’t.  You can be solitary and connected online and that can make up your tribe as well. I have some amazing friends I’ve never met in person, but I count them as dearest friends. My life is richer with them in it. And if you are reading this blog, and it resonates with you, voila! You are part of my tribe as well. Welcome, and be in touch.