The Power of Community

Returning to Helena Montana, my home town, and now Missoula, my college/adult home, I am feeling ever so deeply the incredible power of community.

In my recent travels, community was hard to come by. In London I was fortunate enough to be housed with some really fantastic people from around the world – Sjors from Holland, Lenard from Slovenia, Soyoung from S. Korea, Sana from Pakistan, Shahnaz from India, and Gianfranco from Italy (amongst others). We all joined together, orphans from our homelands, to learn and take in our new city. It was much the same when I spent ten months in Bristol, UK for a masters degree in 2004-05 – we all were foreigners so we found comfort in each other and our newness to the country. Out of that experience I made many of my strongest friendships in life.

Washington DC was a different story though. The people I met there were all on their very individual missions in life, climbing ladders, making connections, realizing goals and objectives that generally had nothing to do with community. I suppose if I had come across a group of fellow orphans as I had in Bristol or London, things would have been different, but my life there was surrounded by career people, people who’s lives and happiness had little to do with me. Don’t get me wrong, they were amazing people, many very brilliant and hard-working. But they seemed always on the go, on the move, too busy to just sit and take in the beauty of life. Aside from feeling that I clearly didn’t fit in to this frenetic career ideology, I couldn’t help but feel a bit useless as well.

Now, back in Montana, I feel like a new man. Not only am I surrounded by people who give effortlessly to support me, but I am able to give and to be useful in return (I also had this when I was in Ohio with Kelly’s wonderful mother, Barb). Perhaps, deep within each of us, is simply the desire to be useful in life. Perhaps we move from place to place, job to job, etc, simply because we so often feel useless or unwanted…

Tonight I had dinner with a lovely retired couple, two amazingly grounded and compassionate Catholics, Larry and Linda. Larry was a student of mine when I taught Buddhism at UM two years ago and we have been fast friends ever since (with me in the place of student more and more). While I received the gift of their generosity of hosting me, I was happily able to give to them by preparing dinner. We shared together effortlessly in this intimate exchange of giving and receiving, thus deepening our friendship.

Immediately thereafter I was off to the home of Raven and Estha, a Wiccan Priest and Priestess who are also wonderful friends. Raven was my assistant for that same Buddhism class and has been woven into my life in many various ways since and before. I happily cooked again and enjoyed another mutual exchange of food, hospitality, kindness, and warmth.

This simple act of preparing and enjoying food together is so often overlooked in today’s society. Yet it has been a cornerstone of every community in human history for so long. I am curious as to how much our solitary, rushed, and often mindless eating experiences these days derive us of the very joy of life itself. Eating here (twice) with good friends, I see food taking on an amazing quality beyond its flavor or nutritional value;

food is a source of the Power of Community.

Beyond my own ramblings, I will leave you with some wisdom from Rev. Paul Collier, my great friend at Goldsmiths College, University of London (from a recent email, emphases mine):

The question I’ve been pondering recently, is how can we translate into our general interactions the sort of spirit and community atmosphere of something like the London Marathon?

I suspect that at least part of the answer is that we need to pay much more attention to cultivating an attitude of appreciation. Instead of constantly striving for achievement, and turning from one objective to the next, we can take time to notice and appreciate what is already here, what is all around us, and especially the people among whom we live and work. We need to take time to listen to each others stories, and to love everyone for doing their own thing. We might then find, in line with what every spiritual and religious tradition teaches us in one way or another, that far from constantly needing to strive for more, a deeper contentment comes instead from living more simply, but with greater appreciation.

Returning to Montana and to my warm family and friends has certainly put me in an attitude of great appreciation (84,000 more thank yous to you all). Life here in Montana is indeed simple – no great museums or libraries, no super huge pop acts rolling through town, no fashion trends to follow. But it has culture, in its own way – some little museums and libraries with their own stories to tell, if only we listen. And most of all, Montana has appreciation – people here (many at least) really understand the unique beauty and allure of Montana.

While most other places have things like money and history and culture to offer, Montana has reality. That may seem like an odd statement, but everywhere else I have traveled to, I have been struck by how unreal things have been at some point or another, be it the people or the fake atmospheres or simply the levels of consumerism or professional drive. In Montana people are pretty laid back, they buy what they need (fancy stuff is usually too big a pain in the butt to get anyhow), and professional drive usually succumbs to the reality that Montana can only offer so much. Oh well. For many of us, the big skies, breathtaking mountains, down to earth neighbors, deep friendships, and so on, more than make up for the financial or career ambitions that might be satisfied elsewhere. That said, I’m sure I’ll have many more travels to report, as my own ambitions carry me throughout the world. My hope though is that I don’t forget the amazing power of community here and the joy and meaning in life that it gives. (Thank you again, Montana)