American Buddhist Perspectives
What a wonderful week it’s been… It started out filled with stress as I struggled to finish my paper for my Monday noon talk, peaked with minor trepidation as Albert Borgmann (yes the Albert Borgmann) walked in to the crowded room where I gave my talk, and has been eventfully downhill -in a good way- from there.
I was quite nervous for my talk, as I usually am when I feel under-prepared, which is most of the time. Since my teens I’ve struggled with anxiety, which for a long time required medication to keep under control. I wasn’t until 2005 and the relative peace and orderliness of my life in Bristol that I was able to face down panic attacks with mindfulness, breathing, and metta practice.
As I walked with Julie to the talk, I almost said to her, “I’ll be fine, just as long as Dr. Borgmann isn’t there!” He’s a wonderful man, and very generous, but as a student of his, I think being under-prepared became a bit of a habit for me, and it often showed.
So with a couple of extra deep breaths, I began my talk. And the fact that it was about meditation, specifically the metta sutta and practice helped tremendously. I spoke a bit faster than I should have, but the post-talk conversation was interesting and I managed to answer most questions, I think. It also helped that several people in the room were friends and all had very supportive comments. (a big thank you to you all)
Courtesy of these folks, my roommates: Steve and Hannah on the couch with me and Jeff and Tess in front. I’ll be moving out next week, for a while staying with Julie, and then off to a place of my own.
The party was Thursday. Yesterday was a movie and relax day for me; recovering from the beer, which my body so obviously can no longer handle. And today I’m off to an environmental philosophy conference and to catch up with some friends afterward.
Wishing, in gladness and in safety, may all beings be well.
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