AskAngus3: Rich and Thin Gorgeous Twins For the Win!

Dear Ask Angus,

Torn in Tucson: I have recently come in contact with a family headed by a woman who is a former witch, now Protestant, and denying any knowledge of her former practices.

She and her husband are raising twins, now 13, who are intuitives and empaths, with a strong sense of Nature and energy. In short: Hereditaries. I have grown close to the twins, and am torn about revealing to them their pasts – and their possibilities. What should I do?

Dear Torn, (*sigh*) E’er twas it thus. The question is sadly historical, your intentions are certainly good, but the Rede is pretty clear on this point. What you are proposing is nothing less than a ‘first contact’, and standard Star Trek rules apply. The Prime Directive states that thou shalt not interfere with developing entities. From what you have described, these ‘clear closet’ witches are not under any undo vexations about their traits – yet.  Charging in between a Mother and her cubs now could severely ‘an it harm’ all concerned.

And hey, this could just be a little outgassing from the hormone high of being 13. They could both grow up to be good little Christians who just know when its going to rain, and who can make the other phone them just by thinking about it. If you enjoy these youngsters as friends then by all means continue the friendship and someday, if they ask for help or show some severe stress about their abilities, then beam down and blow their muggle minds.

Not sayin……just sayin….

 

Dear Ask Angus,

Wendy: If we are such hot shot magickians why aren’t we all rich and thin and gorgeous? 

Dear Wendy, Well, speak for yourself! No wait: I’m 0 for 3. But still!

Why aren’t we all rich and thin and gorgeous? Because as witches we have Perspective. And a deeper (or shall we say, less shallow) look at the gifts of the physical plane will reveal some additional pinnacles to consider. I have seen the rich, both old money and Lotto winners. Newsflash: They aint any happier than us work-a-day folks.

Thin? Like the emaciated 6ft. stick figures that the mass media presents to us? Ugh. The wonderful thing about humans is that they come in all shapes and sizes. Much more attractive I think to be relatively satisfied with your given shape, and healthy. (Plus skinny people invariably have cold feet in bed.)

Gorgeous? In what sense? Our most undervalued sense is that of smell. Spend some time in your sinuses and see if your ‘tastes’ don’t change. Also consider folks in four dimensions. Movement, across the room, and across time, can be extremely desirable. Why aren’t witches all rich and thin and gorgeous? Because it is much more fulfilling to be challenged, healthy, and radiant.

Now; would I like a raise or to be 20 pounds lighter? No comment.

 

Dear Ask Angus, Kim: Why do so many spells rhyme?

Dear Kim,

Traditional spells rhyme because rhyming is beautiful, harmonious, rhythmic, and a more direct conduit between you and the Divine. Do you believe that? Good.

Now here is the rest of the story: Witchcraft is older than paper, and rhyming is a superior memory aide. Up until movable type destroyed vast areas of our cognitive maps, almost everything (news, proclamations, plays, laws, etc.) was in rhyme.

After paper was brought to Europe it was still very expensive, literacy was regulated to the monasteries, and it was hard to read your spell in the dark in the woods anyway. So the rhyming spell was a necessity, which has survived as a quaint anachronism. This does not mean that the first sentence up there is false however. Try writing your spells that way; getting out of your modern brain patterns is what Magick is all about.

 

Dear Ask Angus,

Dan: How many fingers am I holding up?

Dear Dan, (*sigh*) Vulgar displays of mind-reading and lightbulb blowing will not be employed on this fine internet portal. I do not feel the need to demonstrate (or justify) my religion to anyone, let alone to experiential addicted blunderboobs such as yourself. I do not know or particularly care how many fingers you are holding up, but guess which one I am?

~ Ask Angus Send your questions to: angusmcmahan@gmail.com

Photo Credits: Tumblr, Pinterest, Sports Kids Play, Zazzle.com

About Angus McMahan

Me? I'm just the drummer. Oh, I guess I write funny stuff now and then. When I am not scratching my head at the oddball questions that show up here I am penning witticisms over at www.angus-land.com

  • http://jenyatbeachy.net Jenya T. Beachy

    AWESOME!

    • http://www.angus-land.com/ Angus McMahan

      Everything old is new again!

  • michael

    I think you are awesome!!!!

    • http://www.angus-land.com/ Angus McMahan

      LOL, thank you!

  • Amy

    I am snorting my coffee over your responses! Very enjoyable! Thank you for sharing!

    • http://www.angus-land.com/ Angus McMahan

      Sharing is caring. :-P

  • http://gypsika.wordpress.com/ Annika Mongan

    I disagree with 0 out of 3. There’s a case to be made for one out of three, Angus ;-)

    • http://www.angus-land.com/ Angus McMahan

      Oh, I’m nowhere near thin…….


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