Maxim Monday: Love Your Friends

I love my friends. I’m loyal to a fault. I often cling to relationships well past their ‘use by’ date. But if I’ve decided that you are a Friend, it takes a lot to shake me off. Moving so much, so often over the last fifteen years has taken a toll on many of my friendships. I’m still as fond of my old friends as ever, but it can be difficult to maintain or even renew some bonds.

But now I’ve found my ‘forever home’ and I’m excited to forge relationships here, relationships that I hope will grow and be nurtured over decades. Building community is incredibly important to me and my husband. We want to be around people who are passionate, engaged, open to new experiences and discussion, and who are willing to show up in rough times, as well as fun times. We’re already forging some beautiful connections here, a village, we call it. Our friends mostly have kids the same ages as ours, but one family just gave birth to their first child less than a week ago. Another friend is dealing with divorce.

It’s these life transitions that allow us to love on our friends with the kind of tangible support I know I’ve found invaluable in my own life. I have become a huge fan of the strengths of internet/social media friendships (I was once a doubter of mocking proportions); online social circles are important and can be incredibly supportive when we need a high five or a morale boost. But for me, there is nothing so satisfying as being able to show up with soup (or homemade carnitas and refried beans) when some one is ill or post-partum, to say ‘Hey, come over and I’ll pour you a glass of wine, and you can tell me all about it,” to be able to watch the kids when a meeting gets switched last minute.

These acts are loving my friends – and letting them love me.

There’s magic in community. There’s magic in my village.

 

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About Niki Whiting
  • Elaine Parker

    Niki, I am glad you are my friend and wish we lived nearer to each other so our friendship could develop in “real time”. Much love and metaphorical wine and chicken soup!

    • myownashram

      I am grateful for your friendship too, Elaine!

  • SashaM

    So glad you’ve found such contentment. This post put the right discription to what I’ve also been searching for. You guys have something I would like aspire too (when we find the right place). With all the seclusion of grad school – I’m sure you empathize – it’s hard to make or keep connections. Part of why I turn to the Net so often. I love interacting with both you and your hubby online. A large part of what keeps me on fb is the friends in far flung places.

    • myownashram

      For all its faults, I have come to love FB. It has kept me connected to a wide array of people. I also curate my social media very strongly. I want to use it for good! Expand my mind and relationships!

      Adam and I are hoping you find a job up this way. Yes, we are!

  • http://johnfranc.blogspot.com/ John Beckett

    I have two friends in Tennessee who I’ve been close to since high school – the three of us (and our families) were the traveling party that went to Europe earlier this year. We’ve stayed close despite me not living close to them for the past 17 years. There’s something special about that relationship, and we all recognize it.

    On the other hand, the main reason I’m happy in Texas is that I’ve developed a group of close friends through my UU church and CUUPS group.

    And I love them all.


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