7 Quick Takes Saturday!

 I’m a whole day late on this one. Sorry, guys. My sister is in town this weekend, so blogging is likely to be sparse until Monday. But I thought I would take advantage of the late morning semi-stillness to do some quick takes. They will be quick, though.

might have croup. Sigh. She woke up in the middle of the night with that awful dog-barking cough, and has been walking around hacking all morning. 
This is on top of the stomach bug that she and Sienna have been battling since last weekend. Oh, and Sienna has an ear infection now. 
I keep telling the Ogre that I’m waving my little white flag, and no one seems to be noticing. Isn’t there some just war theory rule against continually attacking someone who’s cowering on the ground with their arms covering their head, crying, “I give up! You win!”? Because there should be.
Our No Grains/No Sweets Lenten Fast
went smashing through the window this week. I felt it was intrinsically wrong to refuse my children crackers and sprite while they were hurling and crying, and I was quite frankly way too exhausted to do the shopping, food prep and cooking. 
But the Ogre and I have vowed to return to it on Monday. We are determined to end this Lent with a bang, not a whimper. 
The Ogre
(Yep, that’s my man, right there in the front. Oh, swoon. And no, you can’t print this picture. Back off.)
has gone down four notches in his belt since the beginning of Lent. And do you know what he said to me? 
“I’ve lost all this weight because you’re starving me! You’re starving me! You sadist!”
For the record, I’ve lost five pounds. Five. That’s like, nothing. I’m not happy about it, but it seems that my body refuses to let go of weight when I’m breastfeeding. If I wasn’t so lazy, I’d consider not breastfeeding just so I didn’t look like the freaking marshmallow man this swimsuit season. 
But I’m pretty lazy, and mixing up some formula sounds like a whole lot of work. 
My Childhood Doctor
Did anyone else love the Austin Powers movies? Just me, then? Okay.
once told my mother that she and I were “built to survive a concentration camp.”
I. am. not. joking. He said that our bodies just hold on to fat, and that we should really be grateful, because if the world ever ended we would be the last to die of starvation.
In what deranged world is that something to be grateful for? I mean, if I need to stay alive for my kids, yes, absolutely. But say my Ogre and my offspring get taken out in the first big…whatever. Then what? I get to just sit around while my body survives? Thanks a lot, fat-hoarding self. You’d really be doing me a favor there. 
I Had to Stop
reading the Drudge Report because every day that I read it I was sure that the world was going to end within the week. 
Once I realized that it would, in fact, be better to just die in the first big…whatever (oh come on, I don’t know how the world’s going to end!), I stopped obsessively asking the Ogre if we could stock up on dehydrated food and Uzis and began just insisting that we go to confession all the time. 
Then one time, I walked into the confessional and realized that I didn’t know what to say. Usually I go to confession when I have something very specific in mind to confess, and then after a good examination of conscience am horrified to discover that I have a laundry list of sins on my conscience. But this time, I didn’t have anything really pressing to confess, I was just sure that someone was planning on bringing a nuclear bomb into the MGM casino that very day and I’d quite like to die with a clean conscience. Then in the hustle and bustle of bathing, dressing, and feeding children and myself I didn’t have time to do an examination of conscience, and there was no line for the confessional, so I hurtled through the door and kneeled and then…stammered. I’m pretty sure I said something like, “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It’s been four days since my last confession. I’m….I’m not really sure how I’ve sinned in the last four days, but I know I have. I’ve probably…well, I didn’t get my kids in bed on time, and I didn’t get the dishes done before bed so my husband had to do them, and I typed OMG in a combox, and, well…” 
Yeah. Confession fail. 
When the MGM wasn’t nuked that night, I thought that perhaps instead of obsessively keeping my soul in a state of battle-readiness, I should just stop reading the Drudge Report. 
And I’m pleased to announce that I have since become a much more stable person.
On A Completely Unrelated Note
 there are a few things in the blogging world that make me want to scream and throw something at someone. Far and away the number one thing that I hate in combox conversations is when people address other people by using the @ symbol. 
How freaking rude is that! Seriously. In my mind, there is nothing ruder and more belittling than talking “@” someone. 
You’re not talking with them. You’re not talking to them. You’re not addressing them politely. You’re not even engaging in a conversation in which you expect a reply! No, you’re hurtling your grenade-like words across the the tubes of the internet “@” them.
So please, you wonderful, lovely people who read my blog, please NEVER use the @ symbol in my combox. Because it’s rude. 
And On That Note, Because I Can’t Think Of One Last Quick Take, And Because My Two-Year Old is Hacking Up a Lung in My Lap, 
here you go.
Happy Saturday! Go see Jen for more quick takes.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04799393593685552159 not a minx, a moron, or a parasite

    Aww, poor Charlotte and poor you! Hope everyone gets better soon!I was wondering how your Lenten fast was going – it seems like a very tough one! Good luck with it!

  • http://whatireallymeanttosay.wordpress.com/ Rebecca

    Hi there! I found your blog through Betty Beguiles and I just wanted to say I have been reading your archives and just loving your writing. I'm a stay at home mom to three little ones (two boys and a baby girl) so I can relate to a lot of your stories.Also, a big hearty AMEN to your comment about the "@" symbol. I believe this comes from Twitter and it seems entirely unnecessary. A person's name seems quite sufficient.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08135229596877003069 Michelle

    I'm sorry your Charlotte isn't feeling so hot. And, no doctor has ever admitted to me about my body being the type to hold onto fat, but I firmly believe that I probably belong in that category. There has to be some reason I can't shed my baby weight.As for the "@"…I guess I never thought about it. And I agree with Rebecca, it probably stems from Twitter and the way people acknowledge just whom they are tweeting to. Good to know your take…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10685715493085741426 MJDMom

    Hah about breastfeeding and weight. I know a woman who swore up and down she kept on the pudge while breastfeeding until her kid was older because that's what would fuel the baby at the end of the world!! : )

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10685715493085741426 MJDMom

    BTW, I am one of those women who holds onto it until the baby is a year. At one year (I usually nurse longer) it magically goes away. Every time! I feel your pain.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09134771358325901297 Juliana

    I just started reading your blog, so forgive me if you posted about this recently, but I'm curious why no grains for Lent? I get the sweets, but grains? We are Orthodox Christians and eat no meat or dairy during the Fast, so without grains, there wouldn't be much left to eat! (And I have nut, soy, and sesame allergies, to name a few, so our fasting is truly a gastronomic adventure…)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04738076740941616678 Rebecca @ The Road Home

    Yes, there should be some acknowledgement for the white flag :( – I'm sorry your kiddos are sick!Hmmm, yes I agree with Rebecca and Michelle, I think the @ thing comes from Twitter (not that it makes it ok of course – ;-) ).Enjoy your visit with your sister.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12557248434888642114 Melanie B

    I hope poor Charlotte gets better soon. What a hard Lent y'all have had.I do think it's totally unfair that men lose weight so fast while it takes us so long to do the same.There are so many things on the internet that I can't read without being tempted to sinful thoughts. It's good to know you limits.I do not understand why the @ has migrated from Facebook and twitter to comment boxes. There is serves a purpose in creating a link to someone's profile and alerting them that someone is talking to or about them. But in a comment box it's just a stupid tic. Just stop it, @people!!! (Sorry, Calah, I couldn't resist.)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10135272827538989265 Andrea

    I can't loose a lot of weight while breastfeeding either. But if I stop breastfeeding, I get pregnant. I've just decided Fertility makes me Fat. I'm going to be intense, someday, when I hit menopause.Hope your littles get better soon. Poor things! (You included.)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13774997165220926432 Dobrovits Family

    We love Austin Powers here too…And Will Farrell (the whole family is freakishly excited about his upcoming guest stint on The Office)!Carla