7 Quick Takes Friday!

#7

Holy cheez-its, you guys. It’s cold outside.

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Look at that shizzle!

Yeah, I realize that 69 is not considered “cold” in the rest of the country, but I’ve been living on a steady diet of 80-90 degree days with 90% humidity. I’ll take what I can get.

#6

However, I must admit that the sight of all the wee Floridian children walking to school bundled up like this kid

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against the Arctic 50 degree wind was hilarious.

#5

Speaking of hilarious, this facebook re-cap of the last Downton Abbey episode is hysterical. Here’s my favorite bit without too many spoilers:

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#4

And yes, in case you were wondering, I did just learn how to edit a screen cap in between that first image and that last one. You’re welcome.

Here’s more funny: 13 Teen Death Novels from the 90′s that Actually Exist

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Please be aware that I read at least half of these, and blame Lurlene McDaniel for my extreme hypochondria. Actually given how wildly (and perversely) popular these books were, I think WebMD should give Lurlene McDaniel a cut of the profit. She taught a generation of impressionable teenage girls that cancer is everywhere and we’re all going to die, like, tomorrow probably, and then just as we started having children lo! Along comes an internet site that will diagnose us and our progeny with cancer at the click of mouse, and with only a teeny-tiny bit of exaggeration about our symptoms.

Maybe that’s the source of the soaring costs of healthcare, too. We were all so mind-warped by Lurlene’s cancer teen lit that we now rush to the doctor anytime one of our kids so much as sneezes or develops a crush on a boy. “It must be cancer!”

Thanks, Lurlene. Thanks a lot.

#3

So after I could no longer ignore the incessant tweets and status updates about Manti Te’o, I finally googled, “who is Manti Te’0 and why is he cluttering up my news feed?” That search was actually fruitless, so I tried again and just googled his name.

Yes, I had never heard of him. I dislike football and all other organized, televised sports. I live in blissful ignorance and regularly block people’s status updates when they begin to say things like “Rock Chalk Jayhawk KUUUUUUU!” because I have no idea what that means and furthermore, I don’t want to.

But I was curious. So I googled.

#2

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Is that the weirdest story or what? I know there are people who are gleefully wetting themselves over the possibility of Manti being a gay Mormon football player at a Catholic university using an online girlfriend as a beard, and then there are people who are keeping faith in Manti because he seems like such a stand-up guy, but no one seems to be pointing out the obvious fact that no matter what the truth of the matter is, Manti Te’o is kind of dumb.

Seriously. If he really was using this fake online persona as a mask to hide his real, gay lover, then he’s not exactly the sharpest crayon in the box. Because, hello? You’re a famous football player and you stole pictures of real women from their internet profiles to be the face of your “girlfriend?” Really?  And if he is the victim of an elaborate (and seemingly pointless) hoax, then, well, that’s really sad. But come on. That’s like Forrest Gump-worthy naivete.

The only explanation I buy is that it was a hoax cooked up between Manti and some of his buddies to generate publicity, which worked really well for a while and then went to hell because there are no secrets on the internet.

#1

In any case, I’m relieved that two quick takes of speculation on Manti Te’o are the closest contact I’ve been forced to have with the world of organized sports this year. One year, I was staying with my parents while the Mavericks were battling for the championship for basketball, whatever that’s called, and they only had one TV. That was the longest week of my life. I was so bored I actually filed my nails twice in one week.

Sienna just got home from school and we have exciting plans to burn our Christmas tree in our neighbor’s firepit and make s’mores tonight in celebration of 60 degree weather, so I must go. Happy weekend! Go see Jen for more quick takes!

  • http://awomansplaceis.blogspot.com Cam

    The weird part for me was finally going to read about the whole sport thing yesterday (although I do vaguely remember my husband explaining it to me when he first told the story to espn or whoever it was) and finding out that the initial interview was like a mile from our house.

    And the cold! Oh my goodness! After a year in Florida we’re expecting a “high” of 14 on Tuesday! While I feel like I’ve done okay adjusting to Michigan I am going to be freezing!!!

  • http://www.robbysadventures.blogspot.com Laura

    It’s like 20 degrees here in MA if that makes you feel any warmer.

    I think I can thank Lurlene McDaniel for becoming a nurse-ha ha. I’m pretty sure I read all of those books too. Looking back it seems super weird but I just couldn’t pull myself away from the saga of cancer camp, or diabetic camp. It seems so weird now.

    Gonna go check out that list and make sure I didn’t miss any ;)

  • Karen

    I remember reading a book called “Will I Ever Dance Again” when I was about 11–I don’t think it was Lurlene McDaniel, but it was about a girl who was a promising ballerina who found out she had diabetes. I was always worried about how my pee smelled after that, since the book made a big giant deal about how her pee smelled like nail polish remover. Huh.

    And 60 degrees? Here in Ohio we’re expecting highs in the teens next week, so we’re using tomorrow, the last warm day (high 40s) to stock up so I don’t have to leave the house next week.

  • http://michelle-endlessstrength.blogspot.com Michelle

    Oh my gosh Calah, I can’t believe you block me for cheering on my Jayhawks. Seriously? Well, just like you have no desire to understand me, I have no desire to understand why you can’t even take a passing interest in the greatest sport ever (Men’s college basketball). oy. I’m so embarrassed that you put that on your blog and now I know why you never comment on any of my kick ass statuses…it’s because you don’t see them. :P

    (I’m totally laughing as I type that by the way…even though I am just a bit hurt that you hide me.)

    • calahalexander

      Actually I wasn’t talking about you! I was talking about one of my college friends. And I didn’t even realize that you posted that. I mean people who post that every five minutes and give a play-by-play facebook reaction, not people who are just like, “Team X FTW!” I don’t hide you!

      • http://grace-filled.net jen

        I was just waiting to see which one would respond to the Jayhawk comment first: Katie or Michelle. :)

        It has been dipping below freezing in California (like seriously below 32F) so the citrus growers are having to light bonfires to keep their orange groves warm. My husband’s former parishioners in Minnesota and Montana are laughing at us!

  • Jessica

    always enjoy reading your posts…this was no exception. i feel ya on the sports and being bored. i often remind myself how thankful i am that my husband is not one of those espn/fantasy football/team following guys. probably because if he was i would have been too bored to stay in the relationship.

  • http://suzannemariani.blogspot.com Suzanne

    I used to read those cancer books too! But I was more into Fear Street. I think there are still like 50 of them cluttering up my parents’ house.

  • http://stmonicasbridge.wordpress.com Kristen

    Yes, Lurlene McDaniel, I was thinking of her the other day. I especially liked the two part series she did on the same character’s initial cancer diagnosis and remission only to go out of remission and need a bone marrow transplant and have nightmares about ending her older brother’s (wait for it) college football career as her donor.

    Yeah, I had to google this whole Manti Te’o thing myself and was like what? really? what are you talking about? How does any of this make sense. And I watch college football and still I was confused.

  • http://geeklady.wordpress.com GeekLady

    I’m so glad that I’m not the only one who had to google that football player to figure out what the hell was going on on Twitter!

    I can buy him being conned though. Some guys have a personality susceptible to that sort of Internet predator, and the whole “fake geek girl” controversy exists because because there are women (or fake internet equivalents) that go around preying on this sort of personality. It’s also just the sort of cruel thing the Internet makes so easy to pull off.

  • Tom

    The initial report was nothing compared to what it’s become. Seriously: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1488102-latest-news-and-updates-on-deadspins-manti-teo-story

    Somebody get this on Days of Our Lives/Trapped in the Closet/Monday Night Raw right now.

  • http://achamplife.wordpress.com/ Andrea @ A Champ Life

    I literally laughed out loud at pretty much every take. So, so hilarious. And thank you so much for that Downton FB recap! It made me ridiculously happy.