Conversations with the Ogre

Me: I really miss you. I wish I saw you more than two hours a day. 

The Ogre: I know. I miss you too. But somebody has to figure out how to bring the rain. 

Me: No offense, babe, but unless you’re Yvor Winters, I can’t see much rainmaking happening in the scintillating field of literary criticism.  I’m under no illusions that I’m really the rainmaker in this family. All I have to do is abandon all scruples and write a crap teen lit bestseller. 

***3 days later***

The Ogre: Something came for you today. 

The Ogre: It’s an investment in our future, Rainmaker. No streaming television allowed. 

My new precious shall allow me to ignore my children so much more effectively than before.  Watch out, Stephanie Myers. My poor grasp of grammar and second-rate imagination should have the teen lit world saying “Bella who?” before the decade is out. Game. On.

  • deltaflute

    He he best of luck. I too dream of writing but I love dystopias. Watch out Suzanne Collins!

  • Kassie

    This has made me so happy that I’ve caught myself three times thinking, “Calah’s going to write a novel now!”

    “I wonder how Calah likes her new computer?”

    “Gee the Ogre and Calah are swell.”

    I….I don’t know what this says about me.

  • Deacon Greg Kandra

    And how are you liking Windows 8?? And Asus? My favorite part of all that is that “Asus” isn’t pronounced like it looks. It actually sounds like the name of a seminarian from Guatemala. (“Hay-soos!”) You’re writing with Jesus, baby! :-)

  • Bonnie

    You’ll be burning hundred dolla bills just for fun in a little while. And I’ll be all like, I knew her when there was a blogspot in her address.

    Good luck and have fun!

  • Lydia

    Hold up, there! I was gonna write a crap novel to pay the bills, too. Maybe I’ll do something in the realm of historical romance, though. Under a pseudonym, of course.

  • Cindy

    Just write about our family, everyone will assume it is fiction…

  • Steve

    But it’s not a Mac. Enjoy anyway…

  • JoAnna

    Watch out, crap teen lit world!

  • Brigitte

    Go for it. I am a teen lit librarian and we could use something new and different. We need humor, real world stuff, and maybe something a guy would read. Can you write for guys?

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