Is There Anybody Out There?

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Yes, that title was only an excuse to put a Pink Floyd song in this post. You’re welcome.

Way back in June, the Ogre and I planned a quick little 3 week jaunt to Texas to visit the fam, give him access to the libraries at UD and SMU, and give me a bit of relief from the horribly depressing Florida rainy season. I had zero intentions of taking a blogging break (because I had just tried that and failed spectacularly, remember?).

Well, 3 weeks turned into 4, then 5, then 7. We had the absolute best summer ever. Our days were bursting with swimming, cousins, Chick-fil-a, nieces and nephews, parks, Mimi and Papa time, Yaya and Papou time, puppies, old UD friends, aunts and uncles, Sister Awesome, and joy. We had so much fun during the days that I didn’t want to miss a second of it by rushing back to my computer. And then after the kids finally went down (after endless rounds of bedtime whack-a-mole), I had my sister and my mom to hang out with. I didn’t want to give up any of that time, even if we were just sitting and watching the Rangers, to try and put up a hasty blog post. Somehow this summer, nothing in Bloglandia seemed more important than hanging out with our families.

We got into Ft. Lauderdale at about 11 pm on Saturday night. After the not-so-minor miracle of our faithful Navigator starting right away after 2 months in long-term parking we headed back towards Ave Maria. As we drove down Alligator Alley with the kids snoring away in the backseat, I realized how very much I have missed blogging. I started thinking about all the people at home with whom I was looking forward to catching up, and although my two great neighbors and a few other neighborhood moms came to mind, so did all my internet friends. This is the longest break from blogging I have taken since I started this blog, and while I enjoyed every second of it, I missed you guys!

Most unfortunately, though, I also took a break from all my serious bloggy responsibilities, like reading through the stack of books I agreed to review, editing some stuff for friends, and responding to emails. Because the world of adult responsibility is totally lame with its “work before play” crap, that shizzle comes first. But then! But then, my friends, oh do I have so much to tell you. Here’s a quick little bullet-point sneak peak at things you can expect to morph into wordy, hyperbolic posts. Really important stuff I realized, like

  • When the heat is so intense that you actually have to choose between puking or dying, no desire to conform to a socially accepted standard of dressing (whether that standard be in the name of modesty or fashion) will ever EVER keep me from shorts again. And I mean short shorts. Not booty shorts, but you know. Finger-tip length. I feel that the inclusion of said shorts into my wardrobe has already improved my standard of living 5000%.
  • Zumba is really hard when you have the actual DVD’s from the guy who created zumba, and I shouldn’t have been derisive when my sister said she was doing zumba, cause I totally ate crow the next day when I tried to do it and had to choose both puking and dying at the end.
  • I should know by now not to be derisive of anyone ever, because it always ends in crow.
  • The state of my teeth is stressing me out beyond reason, and even though I keep trying to tell myself not to be so vain, I can’t help it, because I love my teeth and I’m becoming desperately afraid that I will soon have to adopt a closed-mouth smile to hide their rapid descent into deformity.
  • When you’ve kind of lost everything else you were ever vain about, you tend to cling to that one last thing with terrifying ferocity. And by you, I mean me. Seriously, God, why? My teeth! They were all I had left! Not my teeth!
  • I wasn’t exaggerating about the hyperbole you’re going to witness over the next few weeks. When it comes to my teeth, though, it’s not hyperbole. I mean it.
  • I miss Texas, a lot, and not just our families. Everything about it. Texas is in my blood after all, and it’s calling me home.
  • That being said, the Florida sun is way more effective when you want to get tanned in a short period of time.
  • I have to get back to Texas soon so I can hang out with Jen and Rebecca more. They are so awesome. If I were Anne of Green Gables, I would say they are “of the race that knows Joseph.” But since I’m pretty sure Anne and I would have vastly different understandings of what that means (and since I doubt Anne would even include me in her idea of the race of Joseph), I’ll have to come up with my own term. Maybe y’all can help me. Something like “cheerful anti-Pollyannas who like to drink”? I don’t know. The race that knows Simcha Fisher, maybe?
  • When one’s goal is to return to the light blond hair of one’s youth, but one refuses to shell out two weeks’ worth of grocery money to a salon, one might have jaw-dropping success with spray-in hair lightening spray.
  • Or one’s hair might turn kind of orange.
  • Six years after officially leaving college, I finally had to face up to the fact that I can no longer pull off my tried-and-true standard of dressing. I like to call it “cargo pants chic.” My sister likes to call it “sloppy and shapeless, even for a college student, which you are not anymore, by the way.” She revamped my wardrobe while we were in Texas and convinced me not to curl up into a fetal position when presented with outfits like stripes mixed with paisley.
  • I sometimes look like a grown-up who knows how to work a closet now.
  • I even got tall wedge sandals.
  • Charlotte is teaching me how to walk in them.

Just for funsies, here’s the picture Jen and I took in Austin. Just pretend not to notice that I can’t keep my eyes open like a normal human when I smile.

and please don’t look too closely at my teeth of shame

So what’d I miss? Any Blogworld blow-ups? Or unlikely truces? Or unusually happy and pleasant posts? Or things that will make my head explode? And how was y’all’s summer?


  • Cam

    Yay for being back! Welcome back to the blogging world! You were definitely missed! But I’m so thankful you got away from the million percent humidity for a while!

  • SamRocha

    Welcome back. Didn’t miss anything besides a few tempests in tea pots, featuring Fr. Z, Nazis, and dancing bishops.

  • Bailey D.

    Missed your posts, it will be great to have you back!

  • Melanie B

    Yay for Pink Floyd! And yay for you being back! We missed you! But I’m glad you had a great trip and a needed break. Oh and my eyes are always closed in pictures.

  • Amelia Bentrup

    Welcome back! I missed your posts!

  • Tom

    Damn, I was hoping for a Def Leppard reference.

    • Calah Alexander

      I LOVE Def Leppard. Must work a reference in post-haste.

      • Tom

        The title just reminded me of a line from Foolin’.

  • Maggie Crawford

    Glad you’re back, Calah! I just got back from a major blog break as well. It feels nice to come back, doesn’t it?

  • Mominrecovery

    This is totally unrelated to your wonderful summer of which I am happy for you. And ~ I probably wouldn’t have the courage to ask this in person, but as a recovering addict, I wondered how you were able to drink in spite of your past.

  • Elizabeth517

    Sooooo great to see you in my feed! I am so happy for you, and a bit envious, that you got to take such a refreshing break from Bloglandia. I don’t think you missed anything too important. Just the usual: the Pope said some stuff, the secular media took it out of context and had a field day, everybody’s blood pressure went up and the posts went flying, and now the media’s forgotten about it. We’ll do the same dance again soon.

  • Mamainrecovery AKA Michelle

    Oh my goodness, I am so mortified by my recent comment/question and so very glad it was hopefully discarded. I’m in the shower, which is my usual place to hear God clearly and I’m like, “What was I thinking!??” Please forgive me. I’m grateful for blogs that moderate before posting.

    • Calah Alexander

      No worries! Disqus makes me moderate random comments it chooses, which actually drives me up the wall since I don’t moderate comments. And you really don’t have to worry or be mortified about asking…you asked in such a genuine, ask-ey way that it didn’t bother me in the least. Most people are like, “um, you shouldn’t drink since you clearly suffer from Addiction.” Actually, that’s one of the (many) issues I have with the general approach to addiction and recovery. The idea that someone has an addictive personality and therefore will definitely become addicted to any potentially addictive substance is so absurdly reductive. For me, alcohol is not really a dangerous thing, although I do sub-consciously monitor my drinking and reel it in if I feel like it’s become excessive, or if I’m doing it alone instead of socially, or if I start looking forward to a drink a little too much. I also handle liquor with more care than wine, since liquor is more addictive. But to tell you the truth, alcohol is a depressant, and like all the other depressants I tried during my bad years, it doesn’t hold much appeal for me. Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely love a drink or two, and I believe with all my heart that wine is one of God’s ways of consoling us on our journey through this life. I don’t doubt that I could become an alcoholic, but I think it would be something that I would have to actually work at. Like if, say, I were so depressed that I wanted to drown my sorrows forever and that was the only substance available, then maybe. Because after a couple glasses of wine I just get really tired and want to go to sleep. I also intensely dislike being genuinely, head-spinny drunk. It’s one of the worst feelings ever. I’m totally with Thomas Aquinas on drinking to the point of hilarity, but past that, it’s not much fun. And I despise hangovers with the fire of a thousand suns. They ruin my morning workout, a thing which I am unabashedly addicted to. I figure of all the things I could be addicted to, endorphins are probably the safest.