I was walking through the mall recently on a date night with my wife Ashley and I did some “people watching” because I’m always fascinated by how people act when they think nobody is paying attention. I noticed something alarming and pervasive in the couples I observed. The men were stealing glances every chance they got in this “target rich” environment of Victoria Secret ads and attractive women walking all around.
For full disclosure here, I’m not casting a judgmental glance at these guys pretending that I’m a man who is never tempted. I battled a longterm addiction to porn in my teenage years and young adulthood. Even now, I find the primal urge to look at seductive images pulling my eyes on autopilot before I can even stop them. I must also confess that while I love and adore my gorgeous wife, I’ve been guilty of this very thing I’m condemning. I’ve checked out other women. I’ve let one glance turn into two or three. I’ve sinned in this area and it’s an ongoing struggle for me and for almost every man, but it’s a struggle we must overcome and it starts by admitting that checking out other women is WRONG.
You might think I’m being old-fashioned or unrealistic in saying that a man should deliberately discipline his eyes and his thoughts to stay focused on his wife and no other women. You might even laugh at the idea, but I’ve found in my years of working with married couples that the happiest and healthiest couples on the planet have a husband who is dedicated to winning this battle against lust and a wife who has confidence in her husband’s love and respect for her. She wants her husband to check her out all the time, but never to check out other women or compare her to other women.
If you’re still unconvinced that this issue matters, please consider these seven reasons why checking out other women is dangerous and destructive. Please read these with an open mind. Talk about these seven principles with your spouse. These might lead to some uncomfortable conversations but they might also create some positive breakthroughs in your marriage.
The seven most important reasons why married men should STOP checking out women are (in no particular order)…