Australian church says women are “too choosy,” should wed earlier

Some provocative insight on the state of marriage from the church in Australia:

Women should marry earlier and not be too picky to avoid an Aussie man drought, the Catholic Church has warned.

Australia is experiencing a huge decline in the number of available men, with the church telling women they should also forget about living with their partners before tying the knot.

Statistics have revealed that there are dramatically fewer eligible blokes than single women aged 25 to 34.

The dire outlook has been backed by Federal Liberal MP Kevin Andrews, who is researching changes in marriage and families in Australia and has suggested the swing towards de facto partnerships wasn’t helping.

But Fr Tony Kerin, episcopal vicar for justice and social service in the Archdiocese of Melbourne, said today’s women wanted the best of both worlds.

“Are women getting too choosy? I’d say yes,” Fr Kerin, speaking on behalf of the archdiocese, said.

“I think many are setting aside their aspirations for later, but by the time they get around to it, they’ve missed their chance. In trying to have it all, they end up missing out.”

Fr Kerin said the rate of marriage in Australia had halved despite nearly four in five people still wanting to settle down.

“For many, it remains an unattainable dream,” he said.

Statistics show that 78 per cent of Australian couples now lived together before they married.

But Fr Kerin said de facto relationships were twice as likely to break down compared with couples who had not lived together.

Read more.

Comments

  1. Peregrinus says:

    1. So women need to lower their standards?

    2. In other news, I’ll be moving to Australia soon…

  2. Same think happened in the USA.

    Do to the feminist/NOW propaganda “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”, women are convinced they must have a career to be fulfilled and a man is just a sperm donor these days.

    By the time their biological clock has kicked in, the dating pool is mighty sparse when it comes to available men. “Since 1976, the percentage of women in their early 40s who have not given birth has nearly doubled.”

    Hell, even St. Obama states he would not his daughter burdened by a child.

    High-Achieving Black Women and Marriage: Not Choosing or Not Chosen?
    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-in-limbo/201006/high-achieving-black-women-and-marriage-not-choosing-or-not-chosen

  3. midwestlady says:

    This is really old news. About 80% of American couples live together before marriage and the great majority of these laisons break up before marriage occurs. An even higher proportion have sex before marriage.

    As a woman, I’d say this is really a huge indication that women aren’t being picky ENOUGH. Icky. Bedbug & STD city. Ewww.

  4. Women too choosy? Perhaps men should stay out of this discussion. Who a woman chooses and why she does so is the business of only one male — the one she chooses.

  5. Fiergenholt says:

    My first reaction — rather simplistic, I agree — is that this is a bunch of nonsense. Can we please see quotes from WISE clergy about the whole issue of how marriage works and how it does not ?

  6. I was 40 when I married (for the first time), a gem of a man (also first time married), and we’ve lived happily after. Believe me, I was very choosey and had kissed a lot of frogs, who stayed that way. So there, Fr Tony Kerin.

  7. MY sentiments EXACTLY. My first thought was that it was a joke. How stupid do they think women are? I don’t know how old midwest lady is, but doens’t have a clue, either. George doesn’t have a clue, either.

  8. Barbara P says:

    I guess it never occurred to this Australian Church that the lecture should be directed at men to improve themselves so that they could meet the high standards of women? Or is that idea too radically feminist?

  9. So we’ve got the Vatican on the one hand wringing their hands over divorced couples wanting “we were young and stupid” to be grounds for an annulment, and then we’ve got this bloke in Australia whinging on about how the sheilas aren’t stupid enough.

    How about if they get together and decide which they want to be Church teaching: is marriage a serious lifetime commitment or some inconsequential lark?

  10. Something about this didn’t add up; how do you get that many less eligible males than females in a given age group, when there hasn’t been a world war or an epidemic which disproportionately kills males? Then I followed the link, turns out the statistics have excluded men who make less than $60,000 a year. Say what?! A lot of married couples don’t make that together. I think the answer is not to be less picky, but for both men and women to be less shallow. And maybe this statisical analysis is flawed.

  11. Fiergenholt says:

    Melody

    Thanks for that insight. I have never made more than $60k a year ever!

  12. That’s $60K in austrailian dollars which may be worth less that $60k US. In theUS 60% of all college students are women. Women are at parity in professional schools. THEY are not going to lower their standards and marry some uneducated, under employed male jUST to get married. NOR should they and neither should the women in Australia.

  13. Donna G says:

    Maybe women take marriage more seriously than Father Kerin does. Maybe we think it’s for life. Maybe we think our lives are worth more than being shackled to the wrong person forever. Maybe we think our children deserve a good father. Maybe we learn from the experiences of others.

  14. LOL, I agree, but if it’s left to men like me we would never improve ourselves. The Church may be looking at the reality of mes’s dispositions. ;)

  15. Pol $60k in Aussie (AUS) equals just under $62K US dollars. The exchange rate t the moment is about $1AUS = $1.03US sometimes it can get as high as $1AUS = $1.14US depends on the market data.
    Most of the tradies (Plumbers, electricians, ect) earn a lot more than the College graduate (or University graduate as we call them here in)
    I’m a Qualified University Engineer with 5 years exp and earn $150K a year working 20 days a year and earn a lot less than my mates who have a trade, they are on about $200K plus a year which is about $210US.

  16. The currencies are at par – $60,000 Aus ~= $60,600 USD

    However it appears the young men and woman down under are not at par from the story and posts.

    If you marry for money, you may end up with only the latter and not the former.

  17. Sorry meant to say 208 days a year.
    But living cost here are a bit higher an Audi A3 1.8lt convertible cost just under $60, large big Mac meal about $8 and a three bedroom house with two living areas in a good suburb about $330k – $440k.
    And like you guys 70% of graduates are women but only 30% work in the field they studied while 90% of male graduates work in their field of studies, that’s why we have a skilled shortage here and need to import our skilled workers from overseas.
    But the main point of the Church is trying to make is that if you wish to marry and have children in your life and not all women do which it their choice than find a man and marry as quick as you can because by the time your ready or lower their standards as the women here do have very high standards, most of the man who live here and are in their age bracket have married women from overseas.
    But than for an average looking guy in his early 30s its all Happy Days!

  18. GREAT ANSWER!!! Any idiot can get married and from what I’ve seen in court, many of them do.

  19. Catherine says:

    HMS, I was 41, first marriage for both of us, and we’ve lived happily ever after. Here’s to being choosey! On the other hand, I feel old as I read this article. I can remember when there was a huge shortage of women in Australia, and they were begging women to move there, and marry their men.

  20. midwestlady says:

    It’s a good thing Fr. Kerin can’t get married. With an attitude like his, it might put him in real danger if he did. :p

  21. midwestlady says:

    Pol:
    I’ve been married for over 40 years and looking forward to 50. To the same guy. So don’t tell me I don’t have a clue.

    And I meant what I said about Ewwww in my first post. Many young women act like dogs at the pound when it comes to men. They are not picky enough.

  22. pagansister says:

    We have a priest who isn’t allowed to marry, telling women to stop being so picky about who they marry? I have always wondered how a priest can give advice on a subject—marriage and how to stay married when they will never be in that situation!

  23. Peregrinus says:

    *Whom

    Obviously I can give advice to an alcoholic (Get help!) even though I’m not one. Likewise I can give advice to politicians (protect the poor!) even though I’m not one. Likewise I can gain expertise on a subject like ancient Israel, even though I never lived in ancient Israel, or can study women’s literature, even though I am not a woman.

    I think saying that you have to be married in order to advise married people is somewhat reductionist, no?

  24. Antonio Tristrian Gregolas says:

    Aussie women are to picky. They are expecting to meet a man who is rich and 10/10 in looks, when they themselves are average-looking, overweight, high maintenance and snobby.

    Blokes have just given up because the women just aren’t worth the hassle, or giving up half of our belongings for.

  25. I think the approach is much too simplistic. There are many reasons for marriages not happening; cohabitation, contraception, careers, the general lack of interest of men in marriage, women and men both postponing marriage to clear up education debts, women developing a career etc.
    And some of the criteria like a man having to make at least 60K are just sad. Really, if I met a man making 52K or 30K and he was a great guy I certainly wouldn’t pass him by. :(

  26. Antonio Tristrian Gregolas, maybe it’s time for you to try e-Harmony.com.

  27. pagansister says:

    Little different giving advice on marriage, than drinking and drug problems–at least in my opinion. Just me.

  28. @Barbara P yeah because in all things that goes wrong, the problem cause is out there. It’s never yourself. I’m sure the women are the ones complaining about become single old maids. That’s why the Church is suggesting to them to be less picky and marry earlier. I disagree with your statement “to tell men to improve themselves” to meet someone else’s standards. How about both improve in themselves and be less picky. We have to be realistic. When we marry someone we are going to marry a sinner who is always going to fall short. Another human being should never be what fills our empty hole in our life. But Christ alone. The reason there is divorce is the mentality that someone else should meet my expectation. Instead of how should I meet their expectation and choose to love them through their faults. Because God chooses to love his children even though we could never meet his expectation. But he chose to love his elect because of Jesus Christ who met unfailing the Fathers expectation on behalf of all who would believe in Christ. If God forgives and chooses to unconditionally love his bride the church despite her faults. If you find a good Christian man who loves God and you find him attractive date and choose to love him and marry young. The older one gets the more selfish. Marriage is not for the selfish.

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