My Life Long Pal: Brother Love

My Life Long Pal: Brother Love July 2, 2015

My younger brother, Mom, and me.
My younger brother, Mom, and me.

My brother and I were close enough, anti-Soviet enough, and 1980’s enough to weep when the two brothers died in Red Dawn. You had to be there.

I once convinced him to trade me all his toys for a stick of gum, but Daniel had the last laugh. He complained to Mom and she gave Daniel back all his toys and he had already chewed the stick of gum. He won. I lost.

There is story told about Old Scar the Bear, and some say it is true, but others deny it. I shall not repeat it here.

They make plenty of songs about romantic love and friendship is sometimes recalled, but too little is said in these times about brother love. Start with the Victorians and move back and the love between brothers is celebrated. There is nothing quite like it. I am not saying it is better than any other love, but that it is a unique good when you can have it. Why? My mother was fond of saying that nobody could ever be as alike as the two of us. There we were: the only ones sharing Dayton Reynolds and Ann Reynolds gifts. We were brothers.

You can unfriend a chap on Facebook, but even if you never talk, your brother (or you sister!) is still there. You did not choose them: they are. This is why it is a great pity when siblings are separated or do not get along. This must happen, but is not the design. Brothers (insert your siblings) are there to have your back, to be on your side, to deflate you when you need it. Daniel is a good brother because Daniel delights when I do well, mourns with me when I do badly, and has never once justified any of my sins. He has even forgiven me for pushing all his crayons down the drain pipe.

Daniel is four years younger than I am, but that gap never seemed like much and as we both grow older, it vanished away. All I can do is urge you to think for a moment before you hastily move far away from family, especially siblings. Could you choose differently? Were humans designed to live so far apart from their kin? Is there a bond that siblings have that is not meant to be lost?

I know this: I see my Dad and his sister (my lovely Aunt Jean) and I see what sibling love is. They have been and always will be more than friends: siblings. If you are estranged, do not be. Time passes too quickly. Pride can be swallowed and forgiveness works. We know this in my family or there would be no family! I know this is not possible for everyone. Some families are ugly, abusive, and must be fled, but whatever my demerits, I can at least point to the glory of family when it works. If you cannot love your siblings, or you have no sibling, give your children that gift if you can.

If you cannot, find cousins. I love them too (I am not going to start listing you). These can be ugly times, but some loves are sweet, simple, and never grow old. Daniel is always my kid brother, even when we both can join AARP. I can, he cannot, but it is getting closer. Family matters and we are often too quick to allow modern life to geographically push us apart. No. I will not do it. I will go to Daniel’s party and eat some of his strawberry pie. With luck, he will trade me his piece for this great piece of Juicy Fruit I have saved from 1975.

Happy Birthday, Daniel.


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