LYRICS TO “OBEDIENCE SCHOOL”: I’ve been listening to this Brian Dewan song (listen to it here) obsessively for the past, oh, week or so. The lyrics don’t seem to be online anywhere. This is what I gleaned:

When I was in obedience school,

I could make a rabbit stew.

I could fix a sewage pipe,

I could build a beaver dam.

When I moved to a rooming house,

No one told me what to do.

Now I play with bottlecaps;

I can break a drinking glass.

People tell me every day,

“Don’t tell people what to do!”

Well, that’s all right–I’ll do it like you tell me to.

Everybody is in charge,

Cooks aplenty making broth for everyone,

Bumping into everyone.

But back when I was in obedience school,

I could fold a paper plane.

I could wear a pilgrim hat,

I could [make?] a dinner [???];

Sit beside a metronome,

Listen to an intercom,

File into a corridor,

Be made to do a jumping jack;

Sing a song of loyalty

Wearing but a paper dress;

Standing in the morning rain,

Sing a song all o’er again;

Spend the afternoon indoors

Making useful things from trash,

Learn to build a candy dish,

Eat a can of tuna fish,

Scour and scrub a basement sink,

Sweep around a skating rink.

Oh, those bygone days!

They were so peaceful and great.