TOO OLD TO BE A CHILD STAR; TOO YOUNG TO TAKE LEADS…: Happy birthday to me! (Actually, Sunday was my birthday, aka the Feast of the Queenship of Mary, which entirely rocks.)

I’m feeling really, really happy about this birthday. It feels more significant than most. The year I was 25 was, honestly, kind of horrible, for reasons entirely under my control: I made a lot of bad decisions and in turn they made me miserable. And at Mass on Sunday I realized one of the biggest reasons why. I found myself praying, “Please help me love You above all else“–and I realized I hadn’t prayed that, sincerely, in a long time. I’ve been putting all kinds of things (some good, some neutral, some actively bad) above my love of Christ. I’ve been withholding huge swathes of my life from Him. If you’ll allow me this metaphor, I’d been using “protection” because I wanted to keep my life the way it was; and so I was not filled with new life.

So my birthday resolution is that I will change that. Let’s try this again. There were some things about being 25 that were amazing (most notably the amount of writing I did), and I plan to keep those. But let’s throw away this bizarre and self-damaging clinging to the old Adam, shall we? Let’s do something bigger and better.

Because I want to do great things.

Fiat voluntas Tua.