You Don’t Have To Be In The KKK To Still Be A Racist

The events in Ferguson, Missouri that led to the death of Michael Brown have now become about so much more than just what happened (or didn’t happen) in Ferguson– they’ve sparked a national discussion on racism and race relations in America. For whatever evil has occurred, there are now many good things flowing from this tragic and unjust situation. For this we should be tremendously thankful– and must continue the movements and the discussions that were born out of Ferguson.

While there have been many worthwhile discussions that have flowed out of Ferguson, there have also been some nasty ones as well– just visit the comment section of any post on Ferguson, and you’ll quickly see the divide that still exists. One of the themes I’ve noticed over the course of time is the insistence by many that, while racism might exist in some small pockets elsewhere, “it certainly doesn’t reside within me.” It’s as if racism is something that is always clothed in a white hood, instead of something that subtly exists deep within the human heart– often going unrecognized and unnoticed.

But no: You don’t have to be in the KKK to still be a racist.

This, I believe, is part of the problem. We cannot really and truly prescribe a cure if we’re not first willing to accurately diagnose the disease.

Racism, at least in my personal experience and observation, is something that will often manifest itself in ways that don’t actually feel racist to the individual, as they are not clothed in overt or conscious hatred. Instead, racism often becomes a subtle judgement about others based upon lies that have been planted, one way or another, deep within us.

Last week I had a rude wake-up call regarding just how deep-seeded and subconsciously racism can affect even those of us who speak out against racism– an experience that really crushed my spirit when I realized what had happened.

I found myself walking down an unfamiliar street in San Diego at night, trying to find my way back to my hotel. I was walking alone, and trying to get my bearings as I was unfamiliar with the city. At one point during that walk back to the hotel, I came upon a black man standing on the corner of two intersecting streets. After I had passed him by, I immediately became overwhelmed with a sense of shame when I realized what had just gone through my mind without even consciously thinking about it…

He scared me. I walked around him to keep my distance. I assumed he was standing on that corner because he was up to no good. I wondered if he was going to offer me drugs or try to rob me. I saw him as a threat to my personal safety… and it all happened subconsciously in the span of a few seconds. Not because of anything he did– he was just standing there. Instead, I thought those things because he was standing there while being black.

As I walked away realizing what had just happened, I began a cursing spree in my own head with each step I took.

I was disgusted. Ashamed. Embarrassed. Mortified. Most especially when I realized that had be been white and standing on the street corner, I wouldn’t have given it another thought. I might have actually said “hello” and given him a smile.

I hated myself in that moment.

I mean, for crying out loud, I HAVE CHILDREN HIS COLOR. I serve in leadership at an all African immigrant church and live my real life submersed in a world where I’m the only white person in my circle, other than my wife. I’ve had to comfort my own children when they have experienced racism at school. I’ve had to field hard questions like, “Daddy, I saw on the news today that police killed another brown person. Am I safe?”

I speak out against racism, I’m concerned about racism, I want to rid the world of racism.

But holy shit, I just got smacked in the face that I still have racism inside me. I couldn’t deny it– it had reared its ugly head as I walked down that street. Honestly, I wanted to step out of my own body so that I could turn around and beat the tar out of myself. I was overwhelmed with sorrow for something I didn’t even know was still inside me, and certainly something I never asked to be planted there in the first place.

You see, you don’t have to be in the KKK to still be a racist— it’s something that has been planted inside of us. It’s something that we cannot rid ourselves of until we first acknowledge that it is there.

How did it get there? I think a lot of it has to do with the way media portrays people of color. In all the recent shootings, one of the common trends we see is the quick move to criminalize the victim– an act that plants the subtle message that people of color are dangerous criminals. We even see it prior to overt attempts to criminalize the victim by the photos media tends to use of victims, often selecting the image that paints the victim in the most negative light (see hashtag #IfTheyGunnedMeDown). This too, plants a very specific message in our hearts. We’ve seen these principles play out with Trayvon, Mike Brown, Tamir Rice, and nearly every other person of color who was the victim of lethal injustice.

Subtle messages in media work– that’s why people will pay millions to have their logo slapped on the screen for 30 seconds during the Super Bowl each year. Don’t be deceived: the subtle, racist messages the media has sent us about people of color being a danger and a threat has worked as well. It’s called branding, and it’s a powerful force on the human mind.

It worked on me… causing my mind, for a few moments, to quietly betray even my own children, and the faith community that loves me.

I am reminded of something an old boss once told me when I took over an organization that was a mess at my arrival: “It’s not your fault, but it is your problem,” he said.

And, such is true for much of racism as well.

It’s not necessarily our fault– certainly I didn’t ask for the media to brand people of color as being a danger to my safety. But, it is my problem. It’s your problem. It’s our problem.

Yet, we cannot address this problem until we fess up and admit that it exists.

We must collectively admit that no, you don’t have to be in the KKK to still be a racist.

It’s something that lurks subconsciously in just about all of us. And, as with any other sin, we can’t repent of it until we confess that it exists.