A Christian Father’s Plea to Dads of LGBTQ Kids

Annie & Rob

Annie & Rob

Five years ago, my daughter came out. I love her. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing. I stand with her. I defend her. I believe in her. I protect her.

And my life’s work is now to advocate for her and for all those in the LGBTQ community.

   This is Rob, Susan’s husband, writing today—to parents, but especially to Dads…

Maybe you have a gay son, or a lesbian daughter, or a bisexual, transgender or queer child. And maybe this is not what you hoped forwhat you dreamed of. But regardless of the labels placed on our kids by others, they are still our children and their dreams are still very much alive!

If you are willing to take an often difficult and scary journey with me, it will impact your heart and your life in ways more wonderful than you can imagine.

Having a gay child is an absolute blessing from God.

I never had a conflict between my unconditional love for my child, and my faith… until my daughter came out. What?!?

The source of that conflict could not be my love for my child. That love is pure, holy, God-given, true, right and everything good in this world. So the source of the conflict had to be somewhere in my faith beliefs.

That is the key moment.

That realization is the decision point, and probably one of the most important decisions of my life and my child’s life. How I as a parent react and respond to that will impact both of our lives forever.

Some parents abandon their child for their faith. Some parents abandon their faith for their child. Either decision is gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, soul-shatteringand either will have horrible, tragic consequences.

There is a third choice. But to make it, you have to be willing to take a journey.

If the source of the conflict can only be somewhere in your faith, then you have to open the box you are in and honestly examine your beliefs. And when you do that, God will reveal truth to you about God’s heart and unconditional love, not only for your child, but for you too.

When you take that journey and step outside of the box of behavior-focused Christianity, it can be scarybut the freedom, peace and truth you discover along the journey is exquisite, life-giving, and deeply satisfying to your heart and soul.

I plead with you to hear my heart.

My relationship with my daughter has never been better, my relationship with God has never been deeper.

To get there, I had to step away from religion, fundamentalism, legalism, anything that is part of behavior-focused, expectation-driven, Christianity. As I stepped away from that, I realized I was stepping into the very life Jesus taught and showed us.

I learned that unconditional love, affirmation and acceptance of my LGBTQ child is actually consistent with a faith that follows Jesus.

Your precious child holds your heart like no other. And you hold their heart in your hands like no one ever will.

What you do, how you react, the words you say, will have a greater impactfor good or badthan you know.

I am just a dad, there is nothing special about me. All I did was refuse to abandon my child, and I refused to abandon my faith. I decided to begin a journeya blessed beautiful journey.

One step at a time.

Will you join me?

If you would like more information about our private secret Dad’s group on Facebook, or if you just need to talk to someone, email me at robertcottrell@aol.com or click here.

Stay in touch with FreedHearts on Facebook:

Obergefell & Orlando, From Joy to Grief... What Do We Do Now?
It's Baaack! The Nightmare of Ex-Gay Reparative Therapy
The Biggest Mistake I Made as an LGBTQ Ally & Advocate
11 Things I Would Tell You If You Were My LGBTQ Child
About Robert Cottrell

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