My Lovey

I had finished praying magrib, and began to unwrap my headscarf.

“Sunnah mama?” Maryam asked.

That caught me off guard. I had gotten somewhat used to the excuse of being too tired to pray my Sunnah prayers and wasn’t praying them regularly anymore. I’m glad to have someone who calls me out on it.

“Yes, mama, of course.”

As I bring my hands up for my two rakat of Sunnah prayers, I’m wondering about her motives. Maybe she’s trying to postpone bedtime, or maybe she’s really learned that Sunnah is important. Regardless, I finish prayer and begin to assess how preparations for bedtime are going.

Bath? Check

Story time? Check

Blanket? Blanket? Blanket?!

To my utter dismay, her blanket was nowhere in sight. Her blanket is her lovey. She has never slept without it. Letting her get attached to it was a decision we somewhat consciously made back when she was a few months old. Many people have the opinion that it helps kids get through all those tumultuous milestones in their first years (detachingfrom mommy, teething, going to preschool, giving up the pacifier and/or bottle, etc.). Since my husband and I both work, we figured it would be the constant thing she could take with her to give her comfort away from us. So far it has succeeded, but I knew that the day would come when the decision would haunt me. Things get forgotten, left behind, or God-forbid, lost.

I traced back our steps and we had left it in the car. Meanwhile, my husband had just gone out with the car and forgotten his cell phone at home. I needed to make due. I mustered the four most appealing blankets for her to choose, but it seemed to only add to her sadness.We had all these blankets, where was hers? She even complained to her baby doll before she began to wail. Then, we heard the door open. My husband was home, unaware of the plight he just saved us from.

Thankfully, the day that we will have to deal with the loss of a lovey has not come. And I hope it doesn’t ever come before she gives it up on her own. But I will be living with the fear of ever losing or forgetting her blanket again.

One tip for parents with children developing attachments to things: buy duplicates!

Dalal Kanan

Dalal is currently a 4th year PhD student in chemistry living in NJ who above all loves being mom to one gregarious toddler.

  • http://oldmuslimwomanintheshoe.blogspot.com Aishah

    Asalaamu Alaikum

    I’m still wondering why people call their kids mama.

  • http://oldmuslimwomanintheshoe.blogspot.com Aishah

    Asalaamu Alaikum

    I’m still wondering why people call their kids mama.

  • Marwa

    I can just imagine the amount of stress mounting in your frenzied state of looking for the blanket, Dalal. I have actually found that my daughter is not attached to any object….but me- I wonder what would happen if I forgot myself in the car, lol!

    Aishah- I also call my daughter, mama. It’s a very common Arab practice and recently I found out that many Hispanics do the same. Don’t know why, just came very naturally to me.

  • http://growmama.com Dalal

    Aisha, it’s funny you say that because someone else brought that up with me also. We actually go as far as calling our nieces/nephews aunt (amtu), or grandparents will call their grandkids “grandpa” or “grandma”. You call them what they call you, maybe it’s about mutual respect? Also, what else would you say to qualify your relationship, I guess?

    Marwa, that’s cute :) I’m sure it’s not easy having her be very attached. At the rate Maryam’s growing up, I find it easier to be patient through all the phases because inshAllah she’ll be growing out of it and moving on to another phase at some point.

    Also, in general, I find that lots of times we are faced with what seem minor decisions at first, and then they turn out to really affect the course of our lives. That’s a way more serious extrapolation of this anecdote.

  • http://growmama.com Dalal

    Aisha, it’s funny you say that because someone else brought that up with me also. We actually go as far as calling our nieces/nephews aunt (amtu), or grandparents will call their grandkids “grandpa” or “grandma”. You call them what they call you, maybe it’s about mutual respect? Also, what else would you say to qualify your relationship, I guess?

    Marwa, that’s cute :) I’m sure it’s not easy having her be very attached. At the rate Maryam’s growing up, I find it easier to be patient through all the phases because inshAllah she’ll be growing out of it and moving on to another phase at some point.

    Also, in general, I find that lots of times we are faced with what seem minor decisions at first, and then they turn out to really affect the course of our lives. That’s a way more serious extrapolation of this anecdote.

  • suma

    Awww….. sweet photo and cute story!!She looks so happy with her blankie!!!! An idea..if it’s big enough cut in half and make another…size probably does not matter to her. At least that way you and your dh will not have to live in fear!! Ha!!

  • suma

    Awww….. sweet photo and cute story!!She looks so happy with her blankie!!!! An idea..if it’s big enough cut in half and make another…size probably does not matter to her. At least that way you and your dh will not have to live in fear!! Ha!!

  • http://goodtreevillage.org laura

    So cute! I left my blankie at a hotel when I was about 4. My parents told me not to worry because the maid would find it and make sure that a new kid had it to comfort them. Somehow that made it all okay.

  • http://goodtreevillage.org laura

    So cute! I left my blankie at a hotel when I was about 4. My parents told me not to worry because the maid would find it and make sure that a new kid had it to comfort them. Somehow that made it all okay.


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