A 55+ Responds to Advice for 55+ Leaders

Brad Lomenick is one of America’s young Christian leaders, and he’s the point person of the very successful Catalyst conferences. I admire Brad and think the world of what he’s doing.

On his blog he’s been doing some stuff on age groups and advice about leadership. Thus, here’s one and here’s another. His series of three posts is worth your reading, but I’d like to post what he said for 55+ and then I’d like to go at this topic from the angle of a 55+. This post is not a push back but an extension of what Brad says, but it extends by recontextualizing the whole discussion.

From Brad Lomenick:

Several months ago I put together some thoughts for 20-somethings titled Shut Up and Listen. I also did a post for leaders in their 30’s on Lessons I’ve learned in my 30’s….

This post, however, is for Older Leaders. I’m categorizing that as 55 and older. Now don’t get all technical and age arrogant on me…. There’s no magical reason why 55 is the cutoff. The idea is that this post is for those leaders who are “older in general than others around them.” So this might apply if you are 45 and you are surrounded by a bunch of leaders 25 and younger. You get the point.

From my vantage point, there are some things those of us that are “younger” want the leaders around us who are older to know. These are just a few of those:

1. Pursue us– We’re not in it for the long haul anymore. 35 and under leaders in general are more about projects than they are about careers. More about movements instead of organizations. So if you want to keep us around in your organization, you’re going to have to pursue us. Show us you are approachable, and connected to where we are in life.

2. Understand us– make an effort to be in touch with our generation. It doesn’t mean you have to dress like us (not all the time anyway!!), but when you make a concerted effort to be in touch with what we are in touch with, it makes a huge difference. We’re motivated by making a difference, and being part of something bigger than ourselves.

3. Train us– Once you’ve got us on your team, pour into us. We may not show it, but we truly desire to be mentored and we need wise sages and mentors who will train us up. Constantly look for ways to pass on your insights to us. We are hungry for mentors, and are open to you passing on your wisdom. And not just your successes and the things you’ve done right- we want to know what you’ve failed at, both to make you “human” as well to learn from your experience so we won’t make the same mistakes.

4. Inspire us– Cast vision for us. Motivate us through painting a picture of where we are headed. Lead us. But Don’t manage us. Managing to you means something completely different than it does to us. You were schooled on the management theories of the 80’s. Major generation gap here. And a source of lots of tension that is difficult to manage.

5. Listen to us– We have alot to offer. Sometimes we’re not sure how to best communicate it, but we do bring tremendous raw talent and motivation to the table. We are technically savvy, and understand how to make things happen through completely different systems and processes. Take a posture of listening to us before you dismiss our ideas.

6. Connect us– We are drawn towards community, and relational networks through which we can make an impact and affect change. Community is incredibly important to us, in any context. We want to climb the hill together, not by ourselves.

7. Release us- Literally, kick us out. Not only give us permission to leave, but actually encourage us to leave and pursue other things. Once it’s time for us to move on, we might need your encouragement to pursue what God might be stirring up in us. Especially during the last couple of years, when it was much easier to just hang on than to really let go and chase after our dreams. We’re not leaving because we’re “giving up” on your vision, we just want to make ours a reality.

Brad’s first post for the 20somethings was about as direct as it gets: “Shut up, sit down and listen.” Whew, I was a bit surprised by his directness. And then he had some mature advice for the 30somethings, including “I don’t know it all.”

I happened to read this 55+ something post first and I was about surprised how “us” oriented it was, but in light of posts one and two, this post has a good context. But, still, I want to frame this whole discussion in a slightly different framework.

The most under-examined, the most neglected, and the most difficult “virtue” to master — and the one that takes all three of these posts and puts them in a powerful and biblical context — is Wisdom. I rarely hear anyone talk about Wisdom, I’ve never had a student tell me she or he wants to become wise, and when it comes to discipleship very few “manuals” even bring up the subject. (By the way, I have a brief sketch in my new book: One.Life: Jesus Calls, We Follow .)

In contrast to our culture, the biblical culture was a wisdom culture. Our culture is a youth culture and a do-it-yourself culture. The two cannot and will not co-exist. A wisdom culture favors the wisdom of the wise and it sets the young on a path of becoming like their elders who are wise.

First, let me begin with this: if we frame these discussions in the terms of leadership we miss the biggest factor. What 20something, 30something, 40something, and 50something “leaders” need to pursue is wisdom and becoming wise.

Second, and Brad sees this so well in his pieces, fundamental to becoming wise (which is not the same as becoming a leader unless we reframe the meaning of “leader”) is sitting under the wisdom of the wise. So I agree: find a mentor.

Third, while I see an emphasis on listening in your stuff I’d like to push that further. The biblical idea of wisdom involves the status and stature of those who were recognized as wise (my first and second points), and it involves listening to the wise, but there’s more to this: those who want to become must convert listening into doing. Prov 1:3 puts this beautifully: “To receive moral instruction in skillful living, in righteousness, justice, and equity.”

In Prov 1:3 the operative word here is “receive.” This word means to acquire and to acquire one must treasure and one must listen and one must listen to the point of accepting and receiving and doing so with a sense of respect and even reverence for those who are wise ahead of us on the journey. Those who acquire wisdom are those who listen and absorb to the point of doing, even when they may think otherwise, what the wise have to say. Some know this experience from spiritual directors.

So, brother Brad, from a 55+, I have one simple idea: let us pursue leadership in the context of Wisdom, and to do that we must find a Mentor and then listen and learn to receive their wisdom so that we do what the wise know to be wise.